I don’t make resolutions with MS; I have enough trouble making it to the bathroom on time. #BaDumTiss

What's a status favorite exercise?

Rock Climbing

#dadjokes #groaners #badumtiss

Why did the jaguar eat the tightrope walker?

It was craving a well-balanced meal.

#dadjokes #joke #funny #jaguar #jungle #mealplan #Diet #badumtiss

The other day a police officer pulled me over for driving with a mattress on top of my car.
He started crying as he was writing the ticket.
I was a little confused so I asked him why.
He said it was because it was a moving violation...
#dadjokes #pun #badumtiss #police #jokes #groaner

Quando Bolsonaro for preso na Papuda o intestino dele estará duplamente preso. #badumtiss #bolsonaronapapuda (eu sei, foi péssima, mas não resisti)

#badumtiss #piadasidosas #mythology

Screenshot of headline: "Christchurch man jailed for poaching nearly 1500 sea cucumbers"

Well I should think so. They should be fried.
#badumtiss

Not your father's body shop. They ain't clowning around 🥁 #badumtiss

#streetphotography #Seattle

Trump's got "The Weave" in his head....Elmo's got "The Wave" of his whole ass head - the "e" disappeared cuz he dropped it #BaDumTiss 🤣🤣🤣

Sounds like a joke in search of a punchline. #BadumTiss

FB reminded me of this gem today, from 5 years ago:

Me: How long is the closest Auchan open today?
Google Assistant: Ocean is already closed for today.

#badumtiss

A deer walks into a church with a lightbulb, and the vicar says ...

#Badumtiss #Cardgame

A chicken walks into a school. The teacher says: ..........

The chicken says: .........

#Badumtiss
#Cardgame

What did the Member of Parliament say when he was given a banana?

#Badumtiss #Cardgame

A cow and a nun go into a library, and the librarian says ...

...?

#Badumtiss #CardGame

What do you get when you cross a social media influencer with a cat?

#Badumtiss

A pilot walks into the supermarket and the checkout person says....

#Badumtiss

Embrapa prolongou a insxricao pq edital é muito grande ninguem terminou de ler #badumtiss

An ARP request walks into a bar. The bartender looks up, looks around the room, and yells to nobody in particular, “Hey MAC! That guy’s in here looking for you again.” #NetEng #BaDumTiss

Got to enjoy Marvel Rivals last night and had some good fun. Played Luna Snow, Moon Knight, Venom, Black Widow and Psylocke primarily and had quite a lot of fun! Loving the art style a lot.

#marvelrivals #marvel #StopComparingItToOverwatch #ItsBetterThanOverWatch #MaybeEvenItsRival #BaDumTiss

a man in a suit and tie is playing drums . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is playing drums .

"Panettone" pas du tout, c'est tellement bon! 😬😂

#Poudoutish 🥁
#Badumtiss 🥁

Sem sono. Vou ler cpc que durmo #badumtiss

É pra colocar nos BOULOS de cenoura?

#badumtiss

Quem nasce em Minas Gerais já nasce com profissão, são todos mineiros

#badumtiss

If you don’t like delays, don’t worry. There’s always dekurkure.

#badumtiss

That's nuts, dude. #badumtiss RT @ATVSPoseur: @SouthernbeLLSU Great. I live on the ball sack.