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Hashtag
#groaner
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OUCH!!! #groaner
👉🥁[INSERT RIM SHOT HERE]🥁👈
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The other day a police officer pulled me over for driving with a mattress on top of my car.
He started crying as he was writing the ticket.
I was a little confused so I asked him why.
He said it was because it was a moving violation...
#dadjokes #pun #badumtiss #police #jokes #groaner
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Looking back, I really don't have too many regrets. Today, though, I do have two Egrets. ( apologies). ;) Snowy Egret. Peace! #birds #birding #birdwatching #egret #snowyegret #herons #birdphotography #peace #groaner
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I LOST MY PIZZA CUTTER, SO I USED A BRIAN ADAMS CD HISAS AEAMS nuts tide a kinfe AM IT CUTS LIKE A KNIFE
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Chaos erupted today on the 10th green, when someone in the gallery cawed fowl!
#murder #birds #crows #birding #corvid #corvidsofbluesky #birdwatching #groaner
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What do you call a group of house finches? A. Charm, B. Development, or, (wait for it), ........ C. A confinchion. Cue the groans. ;) #birds #birding #birdwatching #finches #housefinches #badjokes #joke #groaner
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When the fashion designer keeled over at his own runway show, it was a fitting end.
#dadjokes #groaner #funishment
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Can ducks carry bird flu? If so, they missed an opportunity not calling it the quack death.
#dadjokes #groaner #funishment
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This morning, I enjoyed a talk with a group of kids about death, embalming, & cremation. Afterwards, a kid stands & states:
If my dad gets cremated, I can hold up the urn and proudly say, "Hi. I'm Ashlee and this is my Ash-Dad!"
and he laughed hard.
#humor #groaner #satire #comedy #dark #fun
💙✌️🖖
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‼️Bad joke alert ‼️ Proceed only if you’re prepared to roll your eyes hard. You’ve been warned. Last chance.
The stork is the bird that brings the baby, but a swallow's the one to prevent it.
#youarewelcome #badjoke #stupidjoke #joke #groaner #stork #swallow #🤦🏻♀️
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I ran across a book on speed reading, and was always curious how that works, so I read it. Lemme tell you, that was 10 minutes wasted! #dadjokes #funishment #groaner
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Why do people in Greece hate getting up at dawn?
Why?
Because Dawn’s tough on grease.
#joke #riddle #groaner
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"He had a knack for the turn of phrase;
It's just unfortunate that they were all wrong turns!" #dadjoke #groaner #funishment
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Me: I'm calling in blind today
Boss: Blind? Are you okay?
Me: Yeah, I'm great actually, I just can't see me coming in today.
#jester
#joke
#groaner
#livinthatjesterlife
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On the site that tweeted too close to the sun I was briefly admired/reviled for my threads of dad jokes. Unfortunately, I have decided to restart the tradition here:
#dadjokes #dadjoke #badjokes #badjoke #groaner #groaners #humor #humour #joke #jokes #pun #puns #punny #funny #notfunny #histoftech
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