How to Be Deep in a Marketable Way Post vague quotes about self-realization that are universal, but ultimately mean nothing. For instance, “Follow your own light,” with a picture of you holding an unlit match.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Dear Pepper: Are You There Husband? It’s Me, Wife Over the years, I’ve begun to feel like a piece of furniture.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs

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Operation Name That Excursion! Operation Trump: The War, Operation Gulf War III, Operation Venezuela 2: Atomic Boogaloo, and other runners-up.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Operation Name That Excursion! Operation Trump: The War, Operation Gulf War III, Operation Venezuela 2: Atomic Boogaloo, and other runners-up.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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The Text of E-mails from My Accountant vs. the Subtext Hi, your dad’s friend Bill here. Neither your father, nor I, knowing very little about you, have any confidence that you can be expected to handle filing your taxes by yourself.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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‘The nature of the new record is that it’s gentle and quite quiet – that’s the reason we called it Murmurs’ Only a year on from the release of their self-titled debut album, supergroup Butler, Blake & Grant are releasing the follow up – Murmurs is out this month on 335 Recordings. Its predeces…

The great new Butler Blake & Grant album, Murmurs, is out on March 27: I spoke to Bernard Butler about making the album: ‘We truly feel Murmurs is a companion piece to the first album,’ he tells me. #butlerblakeandgrant #bernardbutler #murmurs
sayitwithgarageflowers.com/2026/03/21/t...

Poems Dictated to My Phone, Mostly While Waiting in My Car My thirteen-year-old daughter needed a dress for a wedding, so we went to Aritzia in the Short Hills mall.

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The Trad-est Wife I decided I would give my children a traditional spin on Pop-Tarts. I started with the first step of any traditional recipe: screaming.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Probability Calculator: Chances That Your Friend Bails Tonight “I’ll most likely be able to get there a little after 8!” = Bring granola bars. You’ll eat your first bite of dinner at 9:17 P.M.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Clickbait, Decoded “I Turned $10 Into $1,000,000 in One Week—Here’s How!” What it actually means: I very slowly added five zeroes and two commas.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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A Birthday-Gift Guide by Your Most Absent Aunt It totally screams “Maya,” because she’s within driving distance, last I heard, so I probably won’t have to pay for shipping.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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I Asked ChatGPT and This Is What It Said It’s so important to care about your health, and you’re so clever to check!

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs

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Honest Eyelash-Curler Reviews Dang, no lashes left behind with this curler. It even reaches those tiny corner lashes. Lifts, separates—the works. Also, the first time I used this curler, I saw God.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Baking Cookies as a Modern Human Hold up . . . do you even own an oven mitt?

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor #/ #Sketchbook

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Finishing School: The Moby-Dick Club This year marks the hundred-and-seventy-fifth anniversary, or demisemiseptcentennial, of “Moby-Dick,” originally published in 1851. (Saving you the math.) Is it O.K. to have a “Moby-Dick” T-shirt for every day of the week?

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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More Places Microplastics Can Be Found In a funk: They couldn’t help but notice that the over-all vibe of the online chatter was negative.

#Humor #Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs

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Our Company’s New Team Support Space Please see the employee-efficiency team if you would like to schedule an organizational-issue repair conversation, as those are best done in private and not in the team support space.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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Is This Waymo a Better Person Than You? What about the time it parked perfectly between two lines on the first try, despite you having spent your entire life contorting to fit in—socially, emotionally, and physically?

#Humor #Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs

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What Is Love? My parents never said “I love you” to me when I was growing up.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor #/ #Sketchbook

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What Is Love? My parents never said “I love you” to me when I was growing up.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor #/ #Sketchbook

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Why You’re Considered Attractive If you are deemed attractive while sitting on the toilet, call the police. You are being spied on by a pervert. It might be time to plaster over the peephole in your bathroom wall.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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What to Do When Your Spouse Doesn’t Notice You’re Down Make noise. A lot of noise. Imagine you’ve just encountered a bear.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor #/ #Sketchbook

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How to Break Up with Your Phone He knows your rhythms, your insecurities, your REM cycle—your cycle. He’s made himself needed, and now you don’t exist without one another.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs

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Discovering Where Your Interests Lie Your interest in baking is a lie, although your interest in baked goods remains very much true.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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An Endocrinologist Appointment I had an endocrinologist appointment yesterday. It went well. The doctor was super nice and comforting. So I’m supposed to be taking my Synthroid at like 5am, hours before I eat anything or take an…

#adelusionalpredisposition

#mentalillness #hallucinations #voices #murmurs #radioDJ #whispers #niacin #vitaminc #psychNP #antipsychotics #endocrinologist #GP #prolactin #MTHFRgene #methylation #disability #invisibleillness #chronicinflammation #synthroid #pituitarygland #MRI

Why Shouldn’t We Let Demons Do Homework? Using a demon is not cheating. Cheating is pawning off somebody else’s work as your own. A demon is not “somebody.” A demon is a being of pure malice.

#Humor #/ #Shouts #& #Murmurs #Humor

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National Security Begins Behind the Toaster I’m not saying that the apartment’s a hotbed of narcotic activity, but does anybody need that many plastic baggies for sandwiches?

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If only Cosmo had Perseus' fate. Instead of a hero, he became #dappled as a scapegoat. When the decapitated alien head emerged from his bag like medusa, his career #veered into a General's position. If only he knew what #loomed with the Directors' hushed #murmurs. #vss365