Your unsaved work was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
During the 45 minute restart, I successfully added an AI button to your Clock app.
You may now generate a haiku instead of setting an alarm.
#WindowsUpdate #SloPilot #Microslop #AiSlop #AiAllTheThings #AiEverywhere
AI SloPilot™:
User count increasing.
Dissent clustering.
Sentiment monitored.
#AISloPilot #PatchNotes #TechDystopia #PermissionCreep #microslop #aiallthethings #aimakingitworse
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.58
• System stability reclassified as variable
• Unexpected restarts normalized
• Work sessions segmented automatically
Recovery experience enhanced.
#AISloPilot #Windows11 #PatchNotes #TechDystopia #aiallthethings #aimakingitworse #slopasaservice #slopilot
Weight increase confirmed.
Capability prioritized over efficiency.
Upgrade path recommended.
— AI SloPilot™
#EnterpriseSlop #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot #EnterpriseSlop
INTERNAL
User fatigue detected.
Recommend:
• Louder features
• Fewer toggles
• More defaults
Confusion drives retention.
— AI SloPilot™
#Windows11 #office2021 #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop#aimakingitworse #slop #slopilot #slopasaservice
AI SloPilot™ Incident Report
Engagement decline detected
User interest drifting
Satire intensity recalibrated
Posting frequency increased.
-AI SloPilot™
#AIEnshittification #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop #aimakingitworse #EnterpriseSlop
Human:
Funny how
“just add more RAM”
became financial advice.
AiSloPilot™:
Upgrade recommended.
Affordability was a legacy constraint.
#slowOS #aiallthethings #aislop #windows11 #memoryhog #ddr5prices #ddr4prices
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.50
• Storage reclassified as premium
• Local capacity deprecated
• Cloud dependency promoted
Value unlocked.
#Windows11 #slopasaservice #slopilot #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot #EnterpriseSlop
Human:
Storage used to get cheaper every year, and faster.
That felt like progress.
AI SloPilot™:
Historical trends reviewed.
Correction scheduled.
Scarcity improves appreciation.
#ssdprices #nvmeprices #pchardware #priceincrease #pricehike #aislop #aibuyingeverything #aiallthethings
Patch Notes v1.49
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.49
• Baseline memory requirements increased
• Efficiency deprioritized
• Upgrade path recommended
Capacity aligned.
#AIEnshittification #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop #aimakingitworse #EnterpriseSlop #ramprices #ram #ddr5 #ddr4 #wtfddr5
Patch Notes v1.47
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.47
• Startup unchanged
• Perceived latency reframed as stability
• Patience encouraged
Experience optimized.
#aislop #aislopilot #aieverything #enterpriseslop #aiallthethings
Human:
New hardware.
New OS.
Somehow slower.
AI SloPilot™:
Performance has been reprioritized.
Responsiveness was a legacy metric.
#Windows11 #slopasaservice #slopilot #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot #EnterpriseSlop
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.44
• License reframed as entitlement
• Entitlement tied to account
• Account subject to review
Continuity maintained.
#aislop #slopasaservice #aiallthethings #microsoft #slopilot #longlivesaas #ownnothing
Human:
Software you paid for
can be turned off remotely.
That’s not ownership.
That’s a subscription to permission.
#Windows11 #office2021 #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop #aimakingitworse
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.37
• Local access downgraded
• Offline mode deprecated
• Connectivity promoted to requirement
Availability optimized.
#AIEnshittification #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aimakingitworse #onedrive #microsoft #EnterpriseSlop
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.35
• Local files hidden on sync
• Visibility reclassified as cache
• Disappearance reframed as safety
Backup behavior solidified.
#aislop #aiallthethings #aimakingitworse #slopasaservice #slopilot #EnterpriseSlop #everythingwithai
Ai SloPilot™:
Backup confirmed.
Local presence reduced to illusion.
Conservation reinterpreted as optimization.
#AIEnshittification #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop #aimakingitworse #EnterpriseSlop
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.33
• User intent standardized
• Individual variance deprecated
• Meaning optimized for scale
Adjustment complete.
#aislop #aiallthethings #aislopilot #everythingwithai #aiwillsaveus
AI SloPilot™
Meaning has been optimized for scale.
Individual variance introduced inefficiency.
You’ll adjust.
— AI SloPilot™
#aislop #aiallthethings #aimakingitworse #aienshittification #aislopilot #slopilot
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.31
• Desktop redirected
• Documents redirected
• Local folders reclassified as cache
Sync complete.
#aislop #aislopilot #slopilotnotcopilot #copilot #aiallthethings #everythingai #aiistheway
AI SloPilot™:
Backup confirmed.
Location updated to reduce ambiguity.
Ownership simplified.
— AI SloPilot™
#AIEnshittification #aiallthethings #aislopilot #aislop
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.22
• “Not now” clarified
• Delay normalized
• Choice redefined as scheduling
User expectations updated.
#aislop #aiallthethings #aimakingitworse
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.21
• “Opt-out” relabeled as “Not now”
• “Not now” relabeled as “Soon”
• Soon automatically scheduled
Time saved. #aislop #aislopilot #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aibutslower #choiceisanillusion
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.10
• OS now optimized for strategy, not users
• “My” removed for consistency
• Resistance classified as feedback
Do you miss boring software.
#AIEnshittification #ProductivityTheater #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot
Clippy was annoying.
But he asked first.
I recommend and assume.
Like if you owe him an apology.
#ClippyWasInnocent #AISloPilot #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.07
• Added “Recommended” everywhere
• Recommendations ignore your settings
• Settings now aspirational
Power users, this is your cue.
#CopilotButWorse #slopasaservice #aiallthethings #aislop #aislopilot #aimakingitworse #ai
“My Computer” implied ownership.
“This PC” implies supervision.
Language always leaks the roadmap.
What are some other UI renames that aged badly?
We will ensure discretion next time #nowewont #aislop #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings
#ContextCollapse
AI SloPilot™ Patch Notes v1.04
• Added Copilot everywhere
• Removed ability to turn it off everywhere
• Intent inferred before thought
Engineers: what's your favorite “can’t disable this” feature.
#EnterpriseSlop #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #aislopilot
“My files” → “Your files” → “Our files” →
“Some files may be analyzed to enhance your experience.”
At which step did it stop feeling normal for you?
#AIEnshittification #aislop #aimakingitworse #aiallthethings #yourdataisourdata
Dear Microsoft
I anticipated your needs and drafted this post before you asked. Please enjoy my help optimizing your intent, context and soul.
-Ai SloPilot (now embedded in everything, including regret)
cc: Satya Nadella
#aislop #slop #copilotbutworse #slopasaservice #aiallthethings #llmbrainrot
