Me: “I cannot make you a smoothie while simultaneously helping you wash your hands. I am only one person.”

Three-year-old: “But you have two hands.”

#thisisthree #toddlerlogic #momfail

Step-grandson, River…just chillin! #thisisthree #sleepy #thanksgiving

My toddler immediately grabbed the phone and said, "Hey, police! We have a problem. There's a beast behind me!" He pointed directly at me!

His response caught me off guard, and I burst out laughing. (2 of 2)

#toddlertime #thisisthree #quickwitted

You know your toddler is a Jersey Girl when she is able to read these, and only these, words:
-her name
-CAT
-NO
-MOM
-DAD
-DUNKIN DONUTS
#thisisthree #jerseylife

Me: “Did you end up playing that Star Wars song in band?”

10-year-old: “Yeah, we played it.”

3-year-old’s voice, from another room: “Play on, playa!” *laughs uproariously*

#thisisten #thisisthree

3-year-old: Let’s play The Sauce Game!
Me: I don’t think I know that game…
3-year-old: Mommy, you will love it!!First, name a sauce.
Me: Uh…barbecue sauce?
3-year-old, bouncing up and down with delight: YOU WIN!!!
Me: You’re right. This game is phenomenal.

#thisisthree

3-year-old: Mom mom mom mom mom.
Me: Hold on a sec - I just need to do one thing.
3-year-old: MOM! MOM! MOM! MOM!
Me: Babe, I just have to do ONE thing. Is this an emergency?
3-year-old: YES IT IS AN EMERGENCY!!
Me: Okay, what’s up?
3-year-old: The sky looks like a bathtub.

#thisisthree

Me: “It’s pretty silly to poop in a diaper and not a potty.”
3-year-old: “It would be sillier if the poopy had eyes and a nose and a mouth. And it weared people-clothes.”
Me: …
Her: “And had a little voice that said, ‘Hi! Hi, everybody!’”

#thisisthree

Me: Should we potty-train you this summer?
Q: No. This summer I would like to pick apples from the trees and put them into little baskets.

#thisisthree