A weird-looking man crawled out through the dimensional portal. He was short and wore a purple jumpsuit. "Excuse me," he said. "What's today's date?" "Who are you? Where did you come from?" I asked, bewildered. "Glad to know that you heard me!" he replied. "I come from... let's just say it's a different place and time". "What? You're a time traveler? Wait... Are you promoting some new sci-fi movie?" "A new mo... no, where and when I come from, promoting movies is banned. It could create all sorts of issues of anticipation, trust, unwanted exposition, etc. So it was banned. Although there are special rooms where people who are into that gather to revel in their vices". "Are you really a space-time traveler?" I asked again. "So, we do it in the future? We invent time travel?" "Uuuh, something like it, yes. It took some cajoling of physics, both in the quantum and thermodynamic fields, though. Have you heard about the Stefan-Boltzmann constant?", asked the man. "Ah, you mean that test to place you with the right team in your corporate job? Yeah they did me once. I'm a ENFJ. Or maybe a ROFL. Although it could have been a MILF, I'm not so sure now, it was long ago". "Oh, you mean the Myers-Briggs type indicator. Actually those gals are from my era too. Jokesters, they are. They bet a bunch of us that they could convince the people from here to follow any kind of pseudoscientific crap. They did it for the... how do you say it?... for the LOLS". The guy was standing now, and took a moment to pull his onesie out from his rear, where it had uncomfortably lodged. Time travel is not for the faint of heart. "So, today's date?" I told him. "Ah," he said. "There is still time then. I need to make sure you all don't elect the orange menace". "When you say orange, do you mean the guy in the White House?" I asked. "Wait, what? HE is the president? Isn't this the year 2024?" I said no and that he was indeed, more or less, a president. "No! That wasn't meant to happen!"
A dimensional portal has opened in a quiet area of Millennium Park in Chicago. The full story in ALT.
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