Poe ‘Vices. RE: I Am Not On The List (But If I Was, It Was For Conservation Purposes) He built an island. He drained a swamp. He rewrote the gospel of guilt into a tax-deductible memoir. And now? He’s been canonised by himself, in his own floating church, under a halo of federal restraint. Behold: Saint of Redaction — Patron of Secrets, Wealth, and Wiggly Truths. Cherubs hold the NDAs. A gator whispers truth. The list has been printed. And no amount of bleach can scrub divine delusion.

They printed the list, Don.
New Poe Vices just dropped.
Saint of Redaction now accepting bribes, blessings, and offshore donations.

#PoeVices #Satire #EpsteinList #SaintOfRedaction #underland #SwampChurch #GatorWhispers #RedactedHoliness #TheListIsReal

Poe ‘Vices. There’s unrest in the bayou. Someone (definitely not a TACO) built a prison in a swamp, deputised the alligators, and declared himself Messiah of Muck. But now the reptiles are unionising, biting senators, and refusing to eat the other side. Poe responds—ruthlessly, fabulously—and introduces Traitor Gators™, the only amphibious uprising you can collect, cuddle, and fear.

🚨 POE VICES IS LIVE 🚨

This week: Definitely Not a TACO writes in from his swamp empire. The gators are unionising. Poe responds with teeth.
#PoeVices #Satire #TraitorGators #underland

Poe ‘Vices. This week, Donny throws himself a one-man military parade—and no one shows up. Except Poe. To mock him. With feathers. And facts. From inflatable crowds to Kid Rock torture loops, it’s another chaotic dispatch from the tangerine twilight zone. Poe offers tactical chicken wisdom, emotional support hashbrowns, and a dazzling robe of ridicule. March with us, or at least laugh from the sidelines.

JD’s pants are full. Zohran won. Poe has thoughts. 🐾
Racists, take several seats. Infrastructure’s here and she brought friends.

#PoeVices #EatChickens #NoKings #JDShitMyPants #ZohranRising #underland

Poe ‘Vices. This week, Donny throws himself a one-man military parade—and no one shows up. Except Poe. To mock him. With feathers. And facts. From inflatable crowds to Kid Rock torture loops, it’s another chaotic dispatch from the tangerine twilight zone. Poe offers tactical chicken wisdom, emotional support hashbrowns, and a dazzling robe of ridicule. March with us, or at least laugh from the sidelines.

he planned a parade. no one came. except the tank. and poe.
🧃 delusion. 🦅 eagles. 🍗 emergency chickens.
read the roast.

#poevices #undercookedauthority #paradeofdelusion #eatChickens #cats #satire #catcontent #underlanddispatches

Poe ‘Vices Trump’s still NOT A TACO, Poe’s still screaming “EAT CHICKENS,” and the National Guard is not coming to LA—because the courts said no (rude). This week’s Poe’vice unpacks orange meltdowns, drag queen panic, and why cilantro is destiny. Includes a bonus merch drop for the emotionally unguarded.

He stood alone. In the robe. Among abandoned rifles.
No National Guard. No tacos.
Just vibes, vengeance, and a pillow Melania took.

This week’s Poe’vice:
🧠 No power
💅 No Drag Race invite
🐔 Still only one solution
👉 EAT CHICKENS.
#poevices #trumpmeltdown

Poe ‘Vices Place your bets. Watch the egos combust. From cult leaders to crypto crybabies, Narcissist Derby™ is the only game where everyone loses and the audience wins. This week’s top contenders? The orange one and the rocket man. May the worst man implode first.

🚀💥 This week in the Narcissist Derby™: Trump v Musk.
Place your bets. Watch the fallout.
No winners, just exploding egos and snacks.
#EatChickens #UnderlandDispatches #NarcissistDerby #poevices #underland #TACO

Poe ‘Vices Sick of fragile fascists and orange outrage? SPLAT-A-TACO™ is the deeply satisfying presidential effigy experience you didn’t know you needed. Complete with biodegradable tomato splats, legal loophole tissue, and a taco that’s structurally unsound (just like the man himself). Finally, a product that lets you vent your rage without getting banned from Etsy.

BREAKING: The White House nor the people have endorsed this taco.

Tired of limp policies and soggy egos?
Grab yourself a SPLAT-A-TACO™ — the only cathartic novelty item officially declared an “Enemy of the State” by three raccoons and a bureaucratic chicken.
#PoeVices #EatChickens #Underland #TACO

Poe ‘Vices This week in Poe’vices, democracy is a concept, Beyoncé is a celestial being, and Poe is here to remind us that snacks are sacred and immunity is a vibe. Accompanied by the release of the Diplomatic Immunity™ Chicken Dip Plate Set, Poe offers spicy wisdom, poultry-based policy, and unsolicited legal commentary. The verdict? Shut up. Sit down. Eat chickens. You’re not Beyoncé.

this week on poevices:

🧄 aioli-based diplomacy
🐔 extradition-evading poultry plates
🕶 raccoons in denim (again)
and a firm reminder:
you are not beyoncé. sit down. eat chickens.

#Poevices #ChickenImmunity #SnackAndResist #UnderlandJustice #BiteBack #DiplomaticAioli #PoeSaysNo 🐾

Poe ‘Vices They chose layout over love. Fonts over family. You? They left you on read. Introducing the Zine Abandonments Recovery Kits™ — for cats discarded in the name of literary pursuit. Includes a tear-absorbent blankie, guilt-activated chicken button, and the dignity you were denied. Because this isn’t a phase. It’s emotional print neglect.

they made a zine.
you made biscuits.
they published a pdf.
you published your despair (on the carpet).

introducing: THE ZINE ABANDONMENTS RECOVERY KIT™
for the emotionally neglected cat in your life. or on your keyboard.

#ZineFallout #UnderlandDispatches #CatDrama #FontsOverFamily #poevices

Poe ‘Vices “He named himself after big cats? Leo Kings of the universes. Wooooah.” This week, Poe responds to a panicked Traditionalist who fears the Pope has gone soft—and possibly woke. Enter: the velvet-draped feline theologian, riding a golden chicken straight through the Vatican. The Clucksmobile is real. And so is the chaos.

there’s a new pope.
he said “peace.”
he’s american.
he has eyebrows.
traditional catholics are losing it.

i rode a golden chicken into the vatican to investigate.

🛐🐓 behold: THE CLUCKSMOBILE.

#NewPope #Poevices #Clucksmobile #EatChickens #WokePopey #UnderlandDispatches #CatholicMeltdown

Poe ‘Vices Rocket dads, data bros, and misfired masculinity — this week, Poe responds to a reader haunted by a billionaire father who’d rather launch a car into space than love his trans child. With trademark sass, sorrow, and chicken-based resistance, Poe reminds us: your soul can’t be trademarked.

This week on Poe ’vices: What do you do when your dad's a rocket-launching, transphobic billionaire? Poe weighs in with claws, chicken stock, and zero tolerance for data dads. ✊🐾 #poevices #transrights #EatTheRich #catsagainstcapitalism #queerresistance #underland #poevices

The Catanic Verses V (A Guide to Feline Religosophy) This week's Revelation finds Poe deep in mourning — abandoned in a locked house with only a strange man and the scent of wet socks for company. As the doors close and the biscuits betray, Poe proclaims a mighty lamentation: the world is without chicken, without love, and gravely lacking in proper reverence for the sacred feline order. So sayeth the Oracle of Poe.

Locked in. No chickens. Strange man smells like wet socks. Biscuits betray. Love is dead. Long live feline rage. 🐾🔥 So sayeth the Oracle of Poe.

#CatLife #FelineOracle #PoeVices #AbandonedButMajestic #ChickenCrisis #CatDrama #CatsofBluesky #UnderlandDispatches #catanicverses

Poe ‘Vices Poe-plies Volume VI: Bots, Biscuits, and Righteous Fury Maudlin in Montana writes in to ask what to do when a bot steals your work. Poe replies—naturally—with screeching vengeance, digital warfare, and several impassioned mentions of chicken. There's also some very real wisdom in here (under the feathery insults and claw threats). Writers: this one's for you.

Poe returns to obliterate bots, defend writers, and demand snacks.
⚔️✍️🐓
New Poe-plies: “If a bot steals your story, S C R E A M. Then eat chicken.”

#poevices #catdiva #aiethics #writingcommunity #botwarrior #poetcat #underlandchronicles #defendtheart

Poe ‘Vices This week, Poe answers a human worried their brother is gay. The verdict? Mind your own biscuits. A chaotic feline advice column full of judgement, chicken cravings, and unexpected wisdom. #PoeVices #queercatcolumn #LGBTQsupport #darkhumour #felineoracle

This week, Poe answers a human worried their brother is gay. The verdict? Mind your own biscuits. A chaotic feline advice column full of judgement, chicken cravings, and unexpected wisdom. #PoeVices #queercatcolumn #LGBTQsupport #darkhumour #felineoracle

Poe ‘Vices Caught in a suspicious group chat? A man from "Atlantic" lurking in your Signal threads? This week, Poe offers unsolicited emotional support, biting wisdom, and an escape plan involving bins, PowerPoints, and poultry. Featuring security clearances that don’t exist, tabs you should absolutely not trust, and advice only a partially feral diva cat could give.

Trapped in a cursed group chat? Poe says: bite the bin, trust no tab, and vanish like haunted lasagna mist. 🐔📎 #DearPoe #CatAdvice #SignalSuspicions #UnderlandDispatch #CatsRule #poevices

Poe ‘Vices This week in Poe'vices, a vegetarian writes in with woes about Trump, eggs, and economic despair. Poe responds as only Poe can—with rage, rock-licking advice, and a spiritual endorsement of emotional support chickens. As always, the solution is… EAT. CHICKENS.

Poe returns with ✨ Poe'vices ✨ — your weekly chaos corner of unsolicited wisdom and emotional poultry support. This week? Vegetarian woes, economic collapse, and why spite is the best vitamin.
#CatAdvice #PoeVices #Cats #EatChickens #Underland #PetHumor #FelineWisdom