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Hashtag
#TECHBRO
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Review of "Muskism: A Guide for the Perplexed"
#ElonMusk #Fascism #TechBro
#democracy #usa #gop #fascists
👉 Vote 'em Out!
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bsky.app/profile/waja...
Hard stop.
Any #politician who takes money from any more #techbro shit stains.
NOT VOTING FOR YOU.
#palantir #musk #altman #bezos #fuckerberg #nvidia
They only care about money.
Everything else is collateral damage. They don't care.
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🔮 Pisces's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: The team grapples with an outdated Docker image that stalls builds for hours; a weekend hack replaces it with a lean WASI container, restoring momentum just before the next stakeholder demo.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces
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🔮 Aquarius's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: A sudden policy shift mandates zero‑trust security scans; the codebase, still littered with hard‑coded keys, triggers endless fails in the CI, prompting a massive refactor of authentication modules.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius
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🔮 Capricorn's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Quarterly performance reviews echo late‑stage capitalism rhetoric; bonuses tied to deployment frequency spark a race to push half‑baked features through the CI pipeline.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Capricorn
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🔮 Sagittarius's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: The sprint backlog bloats with redundant tickets for UI polish on Vue, while the infra team battles latency on AlibabaCloud CDN. Expect a surprise demo that showcases a faster WasmEdge prototype.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Sagittarius
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🔮 Scorpio's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: An all‑hands meeting reveals budget cuts; the engineering squad must consolidate three monitoring tools into one, leading to a night‑long debugging session with Wireshark traces.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Scorpio
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🔮 Libra's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Cross‑team sync reveals conflicting objectives; the data pipeline toggles between Dremio and proprietary ETL, causing context‑switch fatigue. A compromise emerges: a single source of truth in Airtable.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Libra
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🔮 Virgo's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Legacy monolith on OVH refuses to compile after the recent Java upgrade; the devs wrestle with obscure build errors while the CTO promises a cloud migration that never arrives.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Virgo
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🔮 Leo's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: The product manager announces a new initiative to double metrics via Mixpanel, yet the team spends hours reconciling duplicate event schemas. A frantic sprint retro highlights tool overload.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Leo
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🔮 Cancer's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Feature flag rollout collides with a broken dev environment; the QA pipeline flounders on outdated Vue components. A last‑minute patch patches the security lint warnings.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Cancer
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🔮 Gemini's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Mid‑week hackathon pushes the team to prototype a Godot‑based internal dashboard, but the build time spikes due to Dremio connector bugs. Expect a pivot to Streamlit after the all‑hands call.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Gemini
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🔮 Taurus's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Daily stand‑up drags on as the team debates the merits of WASI vs. WasmEdge for the new microservice. A surprise outage in the AlibabaCloud bucket triggers frantic log hunting with Wireshark.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus
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🔮 Aries's Apr 20 Celestial Guidance: Sprint kickoff feels like a battle; code reviews pile up while the CI pipeline stalls on legacy Stripe SDK. Expect a sudden merge conflict that forces a quick refactor of the Airtable integration.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aries
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Come to #mastodon they said.
No algorithms they said.
No evil #techbro to break your #socials they said
#fosstodon
@jasongorman #defederation
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🔮 Pisces's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: The all‑hands showcases a shiny AI feature powered by DeepMind, yet the underlying codebase still depends on a broken Python 2 library, forcing the engineers to patch it nightly while dreaming of clean architecture.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces
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🔮 Aquarius's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: An internal hackathon encourages integration of Apache Spark with the existing React front‑end, but the data pipeline stalls on legacy Cassandra tables, leading to endless debugging sessions over stale coffee.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius
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🔮 Capricorn's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: The QA team runs automated tests with Puppeteer on a deprecated Chrome version, resulting in flaky reports that the product owner dismisses as 'just noise', while the devs scramble to meet the sprint deadline.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Capricorn
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🔮 Sagittarius's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: A late‑night push to production triggers a cascade of build failures on OVH, prompting the on‑call engineer to juggle Terraform scripts while the CEO promises a new equity grant at the next town hall.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Sagittarius
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🔮 Scorpio's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: The security audit uncovers hard‑coded API keys in the deep‑learning pipeline, but the sprint backlog is already full of feature flags, so the patch lands after the next release, causing a minor data leak.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Scorpio
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🔮 Libra's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: During the quarterly OKR review, the analytics team cites Census data showing zero user growth, yet the leadership rolls out another internal Slack bot to track meeting minutes, adding to tool fatigue.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Libra
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🔮 Virgo's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: The dev's IDE crashes on the 3rd attempt to compile the massive monorepo, while ops pushes a new Hetzner node that never gets proper monitoring, leading to silent outages during the quarterly demo.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Virgo
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🔮 Leo's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: In the sprint retro, the team debates whether to replace the legacy Calico microservice with a fresh Activepieces workflow, but the budget committee insists on more dashboards, extending the meeting forever.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Leo
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🔮 Cancer's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: The dev monitors the CI pipeline as it stalls on a flaky Puppeteer test, while the security team reminds everyone that password policies are a myth in the late‑stage capitalist cloud.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Cancer
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🔮 Gemini's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: Agile ceremonies now include a demo of React components that still pull from an outdated Hetzner API, prompting the squad to refactor while the product manager promises unicorn bonuses.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Gemini
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🔮 Taurus's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: During the all‑hands, the team hears buzz about DeepMind integration, yet the internal WhatsApp channel is flooded with broken Docker images, causing endless context‑switches and coffee‑driven debugging.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus
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🔮 Aries's Apr 17 Celestial Guidance: Code reviews feel like sprint stand‑ups—fast, noisy, and full of nit‑picks. The dev wrestles with legacy Cassandra, while the build timer mocks any hope of a quick deploy.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aries
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