"The USA team has faced 3 Brazilian pitchers."

"That many???!!!"

#IllBeHereAllWeek

My sister was upset because she wasn’t able to see a local production of frozen but I told her she should just let it go. #illbehereallweek

A chart showing an overlay of the relative screen sizes of common monitor resolution sizes and pixel fields, featuring SD (640x480), HD (1280x720), HD (1920x1080), TW SD (2400x600), TW HD (3840x720), and 4K (4096x2304)

My New Year’s resolution?

I believe in consistency, so for 2026, I’m gonna keep it 1920x1080.

#mediajokes #IllBeHereAllWeek #TipYourWaitstaff #930showiscometelydifferentfromthe7 #resolutions

Haha, I assure you, that is in fact a TWO PIECE

#funny #jokes #illbehereallweek

A cat wearing a croc shoe as a hat, used in a joke about the papal conclave.

The “feline of succession”. #TipYourServer #IllBeHereAllWeek

I hear with the tariffs they're changing it to the Nintendo Switch 2.7

#rimshot #heyo #jokes #amiritefolks #illbehereallweek

Q: What goes "dung, dung, dung"?
A: A Cybertruck backing up.
#IllBeHereAllWeek

Student (while reading Persepolis in class): Can I listen to my white noise?

Me: Weird thing to call country music, but sure.

#dadjokes #teacherjokes #Illbehereallweek

Thoughts and prayers please, I dropped a whole bottle of Advocaat in the kitchen. The situation has snowballed. (I really did drop it I just have the natural talent to pop out a gag in the midst of a crisis) x
#advocaat #crisis #snowball #illbehereallweek

Black, long-haired cat sits on mom as she signs up for Bluesky

Binxie isn’t moving until you smile today! The only toxicity I want in my life is when System of a Down is singing. #firstpost #dadjoke #Illbehereallweek

Re-posting the best joke I ever wrote:

What did Baron Harkonnen say after eating a really good cookie?

"I could just murder Atreides."

#illbehereallweek #dune

The question of the day is will Johnson measure up?
#illbehereallweek

I've heard that some New Yorkers have managed to completely eliminate their cholesterol.

Specifically those on Statin Island.

#illbehereallweek
#tipyourwaiter
#trytheveal
#etc

Australian burglar shot with bow and arrow A burglar in Australia is shot with a wooden bow and arrow after being confronted by a homeowner.

Australian burglar shot in bottom with bow and arrow http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37868026 …and he'll never hear the end of it ;) #IllBeHereAllWeek

Man, that Ministry of Public Works--More like Ministry of Public DOESN'T Work, am I right? #Cambodia #Hunsanity #illBeHereAllWeek

The graphic on the NBA game shouldn't say LAL ... it should be LOL ... #illbehereallweek

[P] Protest SOPA? Smells more like "protest SOAP," nerds. #IllBeHereAllWeek #TipYourWaiters