the irony of a sponge she's "retreating" drawing more and more inward is she trying to escape the musings? or is she just there? she can answer neither a disease took her friend away something that felt divinely cruel with much considered ("crisis of faith", such is existence) retreating, going inward currently, she watched an old show a long running one from childhood still retreating

years ago, she'd be laughing currently, she doesn't laugh anymore paraodixically she watched while she felt the knife twist her friend's disease affected her before and she remembers she hated reminders no, they made her retreat this show came with two reminders and still she watched noting, idly, that her friend never liked television.

"the irony of a sponge"
#poetry #melancholy #death #ALS #spongebob #memories #illgirl #tumblr #terminalillness #musings #written2015 #faith #crisisoffaith #free-verse #revised #realitysubtext #grief #depression

I got pooped on by a bird. People say it's good luck but it definitely set a tone for the day. 😞
#upset #tiktok #poetry #freeverse #melancholy #shortpoem #musings #written2025 #realitysubtext

"At least, my life expectancy is short." She was spiraling, again Her heart was hurting (as wounded hearts do) Faith told her to hold on However, pain suggested she join her pets Existence wasn't great No, it was painful She two years away from being 30 4-6 years away from the lower end And a decade from the median She calculated that She had less ten birthdays remaining (with much considered) She was stuck Betwixt faith and pain Musing that, at least, Her existence isn't a long one Such that she finds some solace. —Amoridere, 12/18/2024

"At least, my life expectancy is short."
#mortality #death #freeverse #poetry #poetsofmastodon #poetsofbluesky #poem #shortpoem #realitysubtext #depression #melancholy

Aurora Borealis People talked about Seeing this special event An event she missed She could only see it in pictures Her heart was already broken But she felt the pieces ache more With her shortened life expectancy She knew She knew that she'll never Get to experience this event.

I've realized that I'll never see an aurora borealis in my lifetime.
#poetry #tumblr #mortality #freeverse #brokenheart #depression #tumblr #realization #realitysubtext #AuroraBorealis #angst #mortality

someone who lived closed to her spiraled into frothing at the mouth she prayed that they were found though she felt she wouldn't be found no, for her, it would likely be too late her mother's developed dementia she's 27, her mother will be 55 another pang would she spiral out of control and depart or would she lose her mental faculties entirely and wish she had? Did she have a future at all? Or would the possibility even be worth looking forward to?

"this might be my fate."

written during a spiral.
#poetrytwitter #freeverse #poem #shortpoem #musings #darkpoetry #spiraling #tumblr #ftd #mentalillness #mentalhealthwoes #realitysubtext #illgirl #aging #motherwound #motherwnddaughter #melancholy #depression #anxiety

Pills and Bleach If she had a gun, She'd just shoot herself If she had razors, She'd quietly bleed out If she didn't have faith, She'd have already brought the poison She sat, idly Knowing her knives aren't far Neither were her pills Or her cleaning supplies She's never acted on them But the idea is present And she wonders..... —Amoridere, 6/17/2024

"Pills and Bleach"

#NoTriggerWarnings #Poetry #ShortPoem #Freeverse #signatured #realitysubtext #heartbreak #death #broken

Better to be Mauled It would be better to be mauled Than to endure what cruelty a man could come up with If she had to chose, she'd just get mauled After all, an animal acts on its instincts Humans premeditate She's known how cruel men could be Her experiences made her afraid of them If she had to pick She'd much rather be mauled Such would be much more merciful Than the alternatives In enduring her experiences, She wished she were taken If she could have chosen, She would have died just then Her father was supposed to be her protector Yet, he was her biggest bully An older brother exploited her An axe put in her back Her stepfather made passes at her And the realization sunk in (Mother made her choice) A boy was fond of her But she didn't reciprocate He chased her Those were just a few So, yes, prefering to be mauled was apt After all, an animal following its instincts Was kinder than premeditated cruelty After all, were her fears unjustified? —Amoridere, 5/2/2024

"Better to be Mauled"

Further musings on that convo.
#ManVsBear #Musings #mediumpoem #poetrytwitter #androphobia #animals #freeverse #realitysubtext #IPickBears

Liberation She prayed for liberation She's entertained a dynamic One that wasn't good for her And that she's entertained it for too long Far too long Than what her sanity should have allowed This dynamic held her by a chain Unseen shackles and she felt bound Those chains had to be broken Otherwise, she'd break (in more ways than one) These shackles will be broken And her guilt will subside But, mostly, she'd feel free She prayed for liberation For freedom from these shackles For what's needed She two decades and seven singular years old And, now, her existence begins. —Amoridere, 4/22/2024

"Liberation"

Good morning, y'all.
#realitysubtext #freeverse #poetry #shortpoem #dysfunctionalfamily #signatured #poem #poetrytwitter #poetsonbluesky #praying #liberation

Boundaries. She felt guilt Guilt for this word It felt like an ugly word But it wasn't an ugly word No, that was her guilt talking She had these And she'd make a point to enforce them Damn everything else However, it wasn't that simple No, she would become small and quiet Stomped on like a mouse When she tried Within, she was screaming Berating herself for not having the strength To put her foot down She wanted to lash out It's instinctive to lash out However, it was just as instinctive To remain a quiet mouse (trauma response) They wondered why she seemed distant Or so upset with them She had her peace to protect And she didn't want to spiral—again (as such would be worse) This word felt ugly It wasn't an ugly word Yet, her guilt made it sting She questioned her reasonings She's oft conflicted about such matters But she knew that some need these And hers have been stomped on No wonder she seemed so distant No, she didn't have this word She started to be more closed off

"Boundaries"
This my word of the day and I feel so much guilt.
#poetrytwitter #dysfunctionalfamily #signatured #upset #longpoem #freeverse #mentalillness #boundaries #protectingyourpeace #offlinegoings #realitysubtext #sorrow

"Ariel's Legs"

At times, I wonder if there's something deeper to Ariel wanting to be human.

#Musings #Signatured #lastpoemof2023 #realitysubtext #musings #TheLittleMermaid #freeverse #familyissues #poetsofinstagram #poetrytwitter #shortpoem #Ariel #poetry

"Defective"

Being born cursed, I find some solace in being "defective".

#infertility #PCOS #freeverse #PoetryTwitter #Poetry #shortpoem #realitysubtext #familycurse #illgirl

"Stillbirth."

A candid take on how today is. I'm never celebrating today again.

#poetry #poetrytwitter #signatured #freeverse #brokenheart #natalday #upset #shortpoem #stillbirth #realitysubtext