My tattoos are not intimidating. Watch the full "Live in Loveland" special for free on #tubi #standupcomedy #humor #jokesoftheday #comedy #tattoos #mushroom #wizard
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I come from a strong family legacy 😂 Watch the full "Live in Loveland" special for free on #tubi #standupcomedy #familylegacy #southdakota #humor #jokesoftheday #familyties #comedy
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Something to help you get over the midweek hump.
#jokesoftheday
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Where do pirates get their hooks?
Secondhand stores.
#ComedyGold #JokesOfTheDay #HumorMatters #Punny #ComedyGold #GiggleBits
👍
Jokes at
weird-jokes.com
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Funny Friday! Enjoy
#StarWars #TDE #friday #DoingGoodThroughTheDarkSide #funnyfridaypost #jokesoftheday
#thedarkempire #laughs #jokes
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I was in the pub and this little Chinese lad comes in, stands next to me, and starts shlurping on a pint.
I asked, "Do you know Kung-Fu, or Karate or something?"
He says "Why? Just because I'm Chinese?"
"No", I said, "Because you're drinking my fucking pint!"
#jokesoftheday #jokes #dadjokes
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I Invented The Way. Like & Follow for daily videos!
#roasting #offensive #darkjokes #darkcomedy #funnycomedy #jokes #jokesoftheday #dadjokes #dirtyjokes #chatgpt
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Sloppy Seconds. Like & Follow for daily videos!
#roasting #offensive #darkjokes #darkcomedy #funnycomedy #jokes #jokesoftheday #dadjokes #dirtyjokes #chatgpt
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The Labour Government’s budget broken down by The Woke Asian Guy. Some will do well but for others….
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Sadly my obese parrot just died.
But it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
As I was sitting drinking my morning cup of tea in my slippers, I thought to myself...
I really must wash ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Great-s...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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What did one nut say to the nut it was chasing?
"I'm a cashew!"
Why did the nut go to the doctor?
It was feeling a little nutty.
What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew!
How do you make a ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Nut-Jok...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #NationaNutDay
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I like my coffee like “I like my coffee” jokes.
Not made by me.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged!
What do you call sad coffee ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Coffee-...
#InternationalCoffeeDay #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?
Monday the whatever.
Why is Friday the thirteenth one of the worst days to get arrested on?
Because the judge will only be in on Monday.
What day do eggs hate most... jokesoftheday.net/joke-22-Frid...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #friday13th
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I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.
- Mark Simmons
I've been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don't feel like I'm ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Top-15-...
#EdinburghFringe #EdinburghFringe2024 #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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"Why was July's birthday the best? Because it was a ""ver-y jolly"" celebration!
punnypeak.com/july-puns/
#PunsUSA
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#JulyFunnies
#PunnyPeak"
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I returned my lizard to the pet store as he wouldn’t stop telling dad jokes.
That’s not a lizard, the store clerk told me.
That’s a stand-up chameleon
I saw a lizard ...
and it became. ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Lizard-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLizardDay
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My grandfather has the heart of a lion,
And also a lifetime ban at the zoo.
What's the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A lion won't golf.
But a Tiger wood.
What did Spartacus say when the lion ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-18-Lion...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldLionDay
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I really enjoy hearing all of the national anthems played at the Olympics.
I love country music
What do a small pair of underpants and a small dancefloor have in common ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Tickle-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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I was once served French pancakes in a haunted house…
They gave me the crepes!
What do you call a man with a toe on his knee?
Tony.
I got fired from Pepsi after working there for 20 years...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-10-Fres...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …
And 100% of men don’t care.
My sister told me yoga is the best form of exercise in the world.
I said, "that's a bit ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-16-Yoga...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #yoga #InternationalYogaDay
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What did the dyslexic man order at the Italian restaurant? Tapas.
Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas.
Did you hear about the plant in Baton ...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #WorldTapasDay jokesoftheday.net/joke-Tapas-J...
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My girlfriend hated my obsession with Japanese food.
Sushi left me.
Q: What is my preferred type of sushi?
A: Payroll.
Q: What did the sushi say to the bee?
A: Wasabi!
Q: What pan is the best ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-25-Sush...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalSushiDay
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Whenever I see the word 'falafel,' I think 'feel awful.'
It's a serious problem... and I falafel about it.
I ate a bad vegetarian kebab for lunch.
Now I falafel.
A man was found dead in a ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Falafel...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalFalafelDay
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25 Running Jokes
Why did the DJ get disqualified from the 400m sprint?
He kept changing tracks.
How did the Robot break the 400m world record?
There was short circuit!
How did the barber win the ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-25-Runn...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #GlobalRunningDay
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Q: Why are most corgi jokes such bad jokes?
A: Because they’re too short.
Q: What do you call a corgi that is overweight?
A: Low-fat
Q: Why do corgis react so violently when their food is ... jokesoftheday.net/joke-Corgi-J...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #InternationalCorgiDay
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Why do people in Beijing smoke so many cigarettes?
To get a breath of filtered air.
Why don't vampires like to smoke?
They always end up coffin.
A sales guy rings the doorbell on a house, and the ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-No-Toba...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday #notobaccoday
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Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the barbecue?
He wanted to raise the steaks!
What do army guys say when they forget Memorial Day?
Ah, shoot!
What is your favorite Memorial Day tradition?
...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Memoria...
#MemorialDay #joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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Did you know that the Icelandic alphabet does not contain the letter Z.
How do they sleep at night?
I was surprised to learn I weigh zero milligrams.
I was like 0mg!
I was annoyed when my wife gave me a coffin for my ...
jokesoftheday.net/joke-Friday-...
#joke #jokes #jokeoftheday #jokesoftheday
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