#TipsFromMasterCriminals: We understand school conditions can be bad and the kids utter fucking brats, but FFS, do your drinking safely at home.
Also, FFS, if you're going to drink, put some vodka in there like a proper drunkard. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: "Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar. . . " 🎶
> Thieves make a break with over 400,000 KitKat bars in Europe qz.com/over-400000-...
#KitKat #candy #robbery #heist #Europe
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: FFS, do NOT encourage a suicidal person.
> 'You p—y': Man handed gun to girlfriend, encouraged her to 'go ahead and do it' — and she did, cops say lawandcrime.com/crime/go-ahe...
#crime
#TIpsFromMasterCriminals: if your ex and your new boyfriend like each other better than either like you, that is a "you problem." (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: While #HustlinInTheBadEconomy in creative ways is good, destroying private property that is not yours is bad, more so if you then put it online. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: You've got to admire the creativity and effort here.
> Texas pair arrested for using fake crows flown by drone — to smuggle these illegal items into Louisiana prison nypost.com/2026/03/10/u...
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: At Whataburger, you fuck around, and you will find out.
> Viral video shows Texas Whataburger workers beat unruly customer with trash can, fry basket after alleged drunken attack nypost.com/2026/02/25/u...
#crime #TexasFriendly
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Consider a larger caliber if you need to make sure the job is done.
> 'I thought one would do it': Man who shot his brother with .22 was surprised he didn't die, had him 'dragged' back into the home to finish the job, cops say lawandcrime.com/crime/i-thou...
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Guess who got caught after bragging on their #SocialMedia. We cannot state it enough: DO NOT post about your #crime on social media. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: FFS people, learn to keep your phones locked so your SO doesn't go snooping around in it. It could save your life. (e)
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you're threatening a public official, do NOT make it easy for the cops to find you. That includes NOT putting your birth certificate online. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals If you're a #racist bigot, and you need to spew your #bigotry don't do it on #SocialMedia from your workplace and in job uniform. Employers tend to frown on that. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you're going to shoplift, don't do it on the day the cops are having an event at the store.
> Career shoplifter tries to rob Walmart during ‘shop with a cop’ event that brought over dozen uniformed officers into store nypost.com/2025/12/14/u...
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Doing some banking? Make sure you double check what you are depositing before starting the transaction.
> 'Unexpected deposit': Man sent meth to bank using drive-thru tube during otherwise routine transaction, sheriff says lawandcrime.com/crime/unexpe...
#crime #fail
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Again, secure your cellphone so no one else can access it.
> 'You're going to pay': Woman sliced boyfriend with machete after fight at Texas Roadhouse, police say lawandcrime.com/crime/youre-...
#crime #GreatRomancesOfOurTime #AmoresQueMatan #FloridaWoman #Floriduh
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Tipping your local friendly "human relations specialist"? Good.
Not securing your mobile phone to prevent others from opening and going through it? Bad. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you are having an affair, do NOT flaunt it, certainly not on Tik Tok or other #SocialMedia.
Also, #TIL some states have a "Jolene" law (i.e. you can sue the "homewrecker" in civil court). (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: You may be hot, you may be badass, but if you want to live longer, maybe stay off #SocialMedia and cut back the bragging.
> Hot Mexican hitwoman murdered after gun collection boasting torontosun.com/news/world/h...
#crime #Mexico #women
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Pay cash for #CashIsKing and won't be declined.
> 'Broke b—': Woman at Kids Foot Locker stabs teen with kitchen knife after getting roasted over her card being declined, cops say lawandcrime.com/crime/broke-...
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you're robbing a place, rob the place. Do the sex later elsewhere. And FFS, do NOT remove your masks until AFTER the heist.
> ‘Modern-day Bonnie and Clyde’ caught on camera having sex at popular Arizona eatery before robbing the joint nypost.com/2025/10/27/u...
#crime
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Again, if you do the #crime don't go bringing it up on #SocialMedia.
> 'Her bad decision landed her in jail': Florida woman charged with credit card theft after identifying herself in social media post, sheriff says lawandcrime.com/crime/her-ba...
#FloridaWoman #Floriduh
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you actually manage to get a presidential pardon for your crimes, don't go back to do the same stupid shit you got pardoned for.
#crime #GOP #PartyOfStupid
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: No, hiding in the back seat of a car is not good enough to avoid the po-po. (We already addressed previously not using #SocialMedia to brag about your crimes.) (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: #CashIsKing. Do not use pay services, credit cards, or other identifiable and traceable payments to rent your vehicular weapon. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: We appreciate when Law Enforcement and other government agencies announce upcoming undercover operations and other infiltration actions. Thank you very much.
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Oh honey, he is your EX for a reason. Should've let it go.
> Woman was 'irate' after ex didn't go to Lil Wayne concert with her, so she set his house ablaze: Police lawandcrime.com/crime/woman-...
#crime #KarensGoneWild #AmoresQueMatan
#TipsFromMasterCriminals
1. Skip high school reunions. Just not worth it.
2. If you do the #crime, don't brag about it on the phone, more so if you are calling into a prison where calls are monitored. (e)
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: as Nicky taught us: plan ahead.
youtu.be/YFTG-VoIN7k?...
#TipsFromMasterCriminals:
Cleaning up the scene, taking a shower after doing a murder or other crime? Good.
Not showering thoroughly? Bad. (e)
