PICTURED: A man on trial before the Florida Kooert, where there is "liber tree and just ass fur awl" (checking your spelling is for liberal snobs who hate America). DEFENDANT: "... so that's how drinking a bottle of Everclear enlightened me to streak for my snap streak. Now yuo see, homedawg?" JUDGE: "Explain to me why you, as a preschool instructor, thought this was appropriate to do in the middle of your workday." DEFENDANT: "I'm a Florida man with anxiety. I had to get out of my clothes and booze cruise. A beer on the highway is needed to relax sometimes" JUDGE: "Ah I see. Very persuasive. Case dismissed"

From the Archives: originally drawn 8-22-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #justiceisserved

PICTURED: The Oval Office, 2028. Ronald McDonald is now the big cheese and he's made some design changes to the place, notably by putting "McUSA" on the Resolute Desk, giving a live address to the nation with a bottle of "Shit Whisky" in his hand. 48th President/2nd Emperor of the United States, RONALD McDONALD: "Heya, kids! I know you elected the reanimated corpse of Ronald Reagan, but due to a few clerical errors, I, Ronald McDonald, am now your president! Fortunately no one have a shit about the difference, I guess because we're both clowns!" A solid 10-second laughtrack ensues. 100% of the US population that managed to survive the next 24 hours would come to agree that it was super cringe. PRESIDENT McDONALD: "Aaanyways I appointed Hamburglar head of foreign affairs because he helped me move, but it turns out he invaded every country on Earth to get more hamburgers, and now it's nuclear war! Hug your loved ones kids, I really bonered things up! Or join me in a belt of scotch, nobody gives a shit and we're all gonna die!"

From the Archives: originally posted 7-9-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #politics

PICTURED: An elongated muskrat brokers a deal to acquire a new subsidiary person (also known as a "child", this one being a female called "Bethlynne" by its producers and fellow humans) to help increase shareholder value by mining cobalt in the Congo. Her father is delighted to do business with such an upstanding citizen, since as we all know, wealth reflects a person's value more than any other metric, so this fellow must have only good intentions... right? Hey, 54% of America agreed on that back in November, how could any majority, no matter how slim and astroturfed, be wrong? ELONGATED MUSKRAT: "Hello, human. I absolutely despise the way you raise your pathetic human child. Please accept $4.4 million in exchange for its ownership, so that I may raise it as I wish with my massive gold stockpile." BETHLYNNE'S SOON-TO-BE-EX-FATHER: "I... must not... profit incentive... too strong... awww shucks. Looks like I touched the money so I gotta take the deal. Sorry, Bethlynne, I just like being a millionaire more than I like having to put up with your shit. Oh well, goodbye forever!"

From the Archives: originally drawn 4-26-2022

Elongated Muskrat here is gonna be featuring in a lot of new stuff because boy oh boy have recent events given me some ideas for him

#ebullientsoup #politicalmemes #cursedmemes #elongatedmuskrat #capitalismrules

PICTURED: orange dude in diamond armor holding steak and a sword, yellow dude in netherite armor with a sword and bread ORANGE: "Aw man, dude, I'm running out of steak, no animals are spawning, and I haven't found food in a loot chest in forever! This blows!" YELLOW: "That's because you have zero hoes. You gotta get that bread my dude, I got stacks on me at all times. I walk in my base and there's cake all around me. My fields are bountiful, and I shall not want, for the dirt provides." ORANGE: "Don't you enslave villagers and then--" YELLOW: "There's absolutely nothing wrong with committing virtual war crimes, and I'll ban you if you disagree. Also you're just jealous of my netherite hoes that allow me to breed swarms of villagers."

From the Archives: originally drawn 2-9-2022

#ebullientsoup #minceraft #cursedmemes #getsomehoes

PICTURED: In 2069, an old, washed-up zoomer and his son watching the HoloNews during breakfast discover that one of the astronauts on the moon base is killing other astronauts, perhaps to prevent them from accomplishing their tasks. CHILD: "Are you seeing the HoloNews right now? I think I'm gonna throw up my NutriSlurry. Why did the astronaut have to kill all those people, Daddy?" DADDY: "W-wow, *teitching* I can't believe he was faking all those tasks this whole t-time... oh Ant-God, help me...*snarl*" CHILD: "Dad? What's happening? Please--" The dad starts shaking and drooling like a rabid dog. DADDY: "What a sussy baka impostor!!! Red sus! Vote him off right now! He was totally VENTING and I saw him fake wires when blue died!! Oh so you think I'm sus for accusing? 123.78,420.69, take that, sus loser." CHILD: "Ok zoomer, I'm gonna go smoke Martian under the hypertrain while you finish going insane. For roach sakes, why can't your generation be normal?"

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-24-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #amogus #okzoomer

PICTURED: It's 2082 and Brayden's family has come to visit him in the nursing home. The grandkids wore their coolest gnome hats (the defining fashion article of the 2080s taking the world by storm) and can't wait to show them off. MARTHANNE: "Look, kids, Grandpa's having a lucid moment! Come and talk with him! Hiw are you doing, Grandpa Brayden?" BRAYDEN: "Marthanne, your parenting is not Gucci. Like, damn Daniel, what are those?! These children have no drip at all! They're doomed to a life of coping and getting ratioed!" LIL G (his legal birth name, wearing the red cap): "Wow, Grandpa, we knew the dementia was bad, but how can you not instantly understand the beauty of our gnomecore? Not gleef at all. Just fall off already, treesh." Braden then has a stroke and dies.

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-23-22

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #okzoomer #dementia #gnomecore

PICTURED: Bob arrives home after a long trip to find his dog painting a picture of his girlfriend on an easel. BOB: "Oh hey babe, I'm back from my business trip and... Rover?! Who taught him how to paint?" BABE (has never told Bob her real name): "Well, I did, but that's just him expressing his undying love for me after I realized I love him more than I could ever love you. Sorry, Bob." BOB: "I... I want to be sad about that, but like... my dog is a painter. That's so cool." BABE (wanted in 37 countries under as many aliases, you'll soon find out why): "Yeah, you're gonna need to be sad somewhere else, because he also learned how to change the locks and we've decided to kick you out. Isn't it amazing what he can do with his tongue?" BOB: "Oh. I... don't even want to think about that." BABE: "Too late. You are, and whatever you're imagining is accurate." (note: the "your" in this quote wasn't supposed to be there)

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-22-2022

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #olddognewtricks #whitepplmoment

LIBTARD: "Hey man, you never told me when you went to bed last night. Why are you sorting out all the green M&Ms?" CUCKSERVATIVE: "I won't go to bed until I can make the hot green M&M lady real before the liberals take her sex appeal away. She a real baddie ya know. Haven't you been watching the news?" LIBTARD: "Just... holy shit. How can I convey the absurdity of wanting to defile a green piece of candy if you can't understand? Touch grass and take a shower. Grow up. You'll see that Brown M&M is superior, and that no one can take that from her." CUCKSERVATIVE: "Yeah, you're wrong. 198.69.420.678! Cope and seethe because this is American politics, get with the times! Make Green M&M Sexualized Again! This is the most important issue I have ever faced in my life!"

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-21-2022

very unfortunate that these types of people are almost exclusively running the country now

#ebullientsoup #politicalmemes #culturewar #greenm&m

PICTURED: Uh-oh! The *unfulfilled* wife's favorite Christmas song, "Santa, I Need Your Sack Down my Chimney" has somehow made it onto the karaoke list at the company holiday party (mandatory attendance and the loser gets fired)! MARTHA: "Alright, Clark, looks like you've drawn "Santa, I Need Your Sack Down my Chimney" as your karaoke song for tonight. What a classic! Just channel those dissatisfied housewife vibes, with a very flirty undertone, and you'll nail it!" CLARK: "B-but... well... I'm not exactly fit for playing that role, Martha... I think--" MARTHA: "Nobody gives a damn what you think for the next 4 minutes and 20 seconds, except for how you enunciate that you've been nice all year, but your loser husband makes you want to get naughty with Santa. For that time, you are gay. Now sing, BOY!!!"

From the Archives: originally drawn 12-24-2021

I had been sick with mono for 3 weeks when I drew this but wouldn't find out it was mono until after new years

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #karaoke #corporatememes #corporateholidays

PICTURED: Two cops arrive on the scene of a mysterious murder for an investigation... but one of them isn't who he seems. *Dun dun dunnnnn* BOB: "Damn, another asphyxiation death with no fingerprints, hair, or any other evidence. Sounds kinda like those Korean fan deaths. Do you believe in that stuff, Charlie?" CHARLIE: "Sounds to me like a new BTS single. Have you heard their latest album? You could say I'm a big... fan, Bob." Charlie dramatically rips off his disguise to reveal that his head is actually a giant box fan. BOB: "No. No! How could you do this to me?!" CHARLIE: "If that didn't leave you breathless, this sure will." Charlie proceeds to suck all of the air out of the room, killing Bob.

From the Archives: originally drawn 11-23-2021 (4/4)

This & the 3 previous ones weren't actually drawn this date, my friends liked enough to save in chat Sep-Nov '21 and I put them all in camera roll on that date. Personally this one's my favorite.

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #fandeath #spoopy

PICTURED: Looks like the sleepover went a little off the rails, because Mom just walked in to find the kiddos making a pentagram with a bag of McDonald's and a small succulent-cactus thing in the middle, trying to perform a demonic ritual! Uh-oh! KIDS: "Cactus Jack, Cactus Jack, we summon thee from--" MOM: "What the hell are you kids doing?" BILLY (the mom's kid): "Uhh, hey Mom, we were just studying--" MOM: "That's the shittiest pentagram I ever saw! It doesn't even line up right, and the candles are all different heights! AND you used pig blood instead of the proper goat blood, I can smell it! Summon the dark lord of Hell properly, for fuck's sake!" BILLY: "Ugh, whatever Mom..." Suddenly, a canned laughtrack erupts from the center of the pentagram, and the room begins to shake...

From the Archives: originally drawn 11-23-2021 (3/4)

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #cactusjack #amogus #summoning

PICTURED: Brad (top) and his family sitting around a table at a wedding. Counter-clockwise from his chair, they are: his dad, his mom's 22yo boyfriend (Chad), his mom, and his 7yo kid brother (name still undecided), who bears an uncanny resemblance to Chad's childhood photos. All except for Brad are sipping the house blend champagne (ordered off Temu and spiked with Everclear so all the guests can immediately get too drunk to notice that it tastes like piss). Brad, for some reason, pulls out a piece of toast that he has apparently been keeping in his suit jacket literally all day. Gross. BRAD: "Hey guys, time for a *toast*! Mmm, sourdough!" CHAD: "Oh my God, Brad. You crash into a schoolbus after texting every single ex since middle school that you still love them, only *once*, and now you can't even get shitfaced at a wedding? Get a life..." MOM: "Yeah, screenshotting that series of rambling texts and having it go viral on all my social medias was hilarious. Nothing I've posted since has ever topped it, and I need more content!"

From the Archives: originally drawn 11-23-2021 (2/4)

check alt text to see who's saying what + extra lore for funsies. I didn't make that clear at all in the original post

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #boozecruising

DAD: "Hey, Jimbo, what are you still doing in bed? Get up for school, silly!" JIMBO: "Oh... oh God, where is my family? Why am I 10 years old again? Did I just live through 40 years of life after a false awakening? Dad, please, whatever you do, never visit the Amigara Fault! A fate worse than death awaits you if you enter!" DAD: "But I just saw a hole in it, and... it's my hole! It was made for me! I'm leaving right now to get inside that... Your-Momma fault, ahaha!" JIMBO: "Eww... gross. You know what Dad, climb into whatever hole you want. Just tell Mom that you love her first, okay?" DAD: "Oh I sure will, son 😉"

From the Archives: originally drawn 11-23-2021 (1/4)

#ebullientsoup #falseawakening #JunjiIto #cursedmemes #yomama

PICTURED: Joe Ligma and Shannemarie at the wedding altar. Joe is overcome with sappy puppydog love and joy, but Shannemarie has her ice-queen poker face on. I wonder how their marriage will go? JOE: "Shannemarie, you've made me the happiest boy in the whole wide world. It would be the greatest honor of my life if you married me, and we walk together through life as each other's guardian angels. So yes, Father, I do." PRIEST: "How touching. Now, Shannemarie, do you take Joe Ligma to be your lawful wedded husband, till death do you part?" SHANNEMARIE: "Nah he tweakin" PRIEST: "bruh"

From the Archives: originally drawn 8-26-2021

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #bruhmoment #shesaidno

PICTURED: The awesome, powerful, incomprehensibly beautiful (when not doodled in 2 minutes) Wish Fish bursts from a comically large genie lamp that just appeared in this guy's living room one day. Looks like there was some seawater inside... man the downstairs neighbors are going to be so pissed when water starts leaking through their ceiling again. WISH FISH: "I am the Wish Fish, here to grant you three wishes and... *gasp* please wish to let me breathe air, I beg you! I... I don't have much time--" GREEN-HAIR GUY: "I want a trillion dollars, a goth gf, and the ability to teleport." WISH FISH: "Fuck you, *wheeze* you miserable little shit. Hope you *gasp* wanted that trillion dollars in pennies to appear in your lungs."

From the Archives: originally drawn 7-22-2021

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #wishfish #genie #ungrateful #becarefulwhatyouwishfor

PICTURED: A white yoga instructor showing her class how to kneel on their partner's necks. Her assistant happens to be black. Clearly, she doesn't pay much attention to the news. INSTRUCTOR: "Alright, Yoga Queens! For this pose, I need y'all to kneel down, and place your right knee on your partner's neck! And remember, if she complains, just yell "STOP RESISTING" for a quick boost of motivation! I believe in you!" ASSISTANT: "I don't get paid enough for this shit" YOGA QUEENS: "Bruh"

From the Archives: originally drawn 6-25-2021

#ebullientsoup #yoga #cursedmemes #bruhmoment

PICTURED: Jeff Bezos holding one of his beloved cash bags while some loser whines about whatever. It's like he doesn't even realize he's property of Amazon's Mars Forced Settlement Program per the updated Terms of Service, which was preempively approved 9-0 by the Supreme Court lmfao. These brokies amirite? EUGENE (AMFRSP ID#42069): "But Bezos, 21 is factorable by 3 and 7! How dare you call it Prime Day? I can live with the piss jugs, but not this!" BEZOS: "It's prime now, Eugene. I bought the entire field of mathematics and changed the definition of prime numbers to include 21. I also bought *you* when you clicked "I Agree" while buying that new graphics card, so now you're going to Mars to build a private colony for me and my friends, with a giant LED sign that says 'No Elon Musks Allowed'. You leave in 10 minutes, so pick out your best jug and get in the rocket."

From the Archives: originally drawn 6-21-2021

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #amazon #primeday #mars #SuckItElon #math #mathjokes

PICTURED: FBI Agent Smitty stops in for lunch at Chick-fil-A. He's just received his sandwich and ate it all in one bite because he's on that sigma grindset and you just wouldn't understand. Anyways, he's just realized that his cashier is actually infamous assassin Gordon Glenhatty, the FBI's #1 most wanted fugitive who spent his childhood committing war crimes in the former Yugoslavia and has murdered all 23 senators who told him that restoring Serbia's historic glory was "not something the government, or I for that matter, will ever give a shit about" and to "get the hell out of my office". AGENT SMITTY: "I've had a look through your files, Mr. Glenhatty, and I must say... 23 senators assassinated in 5 days. Impressive. I just want to know one thing... who the hell do you work for?" GORDON: "Sir, I work at Chick-fil-A. By the way, that sandwich had cyanide in it. Agent Smitty then yells "bullshit" but immediately dies of cyanide poisoning, allowing Gordon to slip out the back door and continue his killing spree.

From the Archives: originally posted 5-15-2021

pretty sure this one was drawn at a party while drunk. I tended to do that a lot back then. Anyways check the alt text it's better than the actual post imho

#ebullientsoup #smoothcriminal #cursedmemes #DontEatThat #drunkposting

PICTURED: Kyle, left, wasting away as a basketball-sized dick tumor leaves him too weak to stand without the aid of two umbrellas to support himself. His friend, right, who has actually always hated him, is also there. KYLE: "Eyy, bro, check it *cough* out! My schlong got even *wheeze* bigger! Like, *gasp* I can barely even walk around now! Sucks to be you, huh, Mr. Schlort?" *hacks up a lung* BRO: "Kyle, I didn't wanna believe you had stage 8 dick cancer either, but at this point, you're just gonna die, and you deserve it. Your life has amounted to less than nothing, and you should just come to terms with that." KYLE: "Your... mom... stage ate these nuts" The aforementioned tumor, having spread to his spine, then splits apart his vertebrae like a shitty Jenga tower as he dies like a Dry Bones.

From the Archives: originally drawn 4-26-2021

#ebullientsoup #cancer #cursedmemes #yourmom #brosbeingbros

SHARANNE: "Totally tubular, Trishlynn! I'm doing both Mari-iguanas at once to get double baked? I'm about to get so dabbed up and pogchamp!" TRISHLYNN: "Sharanne, those are napkins full of grass clippings from the park, which you wrote 'Indicator' and 'Saliva' on with a crayon. I know your husband knocked up his hot cousin, but for the love of Lululemon, please stop taking his party pills before 9."

From the Archives: originally drawn 4-20-2021

#ebullientsoup #tubular #cursedmemes #fourtwenty #weed #copingfail

PICTURED: Yoshi shits out 4 eggs at once in a vertical stack (I swear I remember him doing something similar in one of the games) while holding a comically large bag of money in each hand. He's surrounded by glocked-up goombas and a Mushroom Kingdom IRS van, armed with a heat-seeking bullet bill turret on the roof. YOSHI: "Ohh Noooo!"

From the Archives: originally drawn 4-15-2021

#ebullientsoup #irs #mariomemes #supermario #TaxEvasionGoneWrong #justice

PICTURED: The guy from friday night funkin finds the girlfriend character straddling a speaker, legs wide open, brandishing the girthiest mic you've ever seen-- half the size of her body. She's wearing a hot pink leotard, matching stiletto boots, and fishnet stockings... his facial expression is about what you'd expect. GIRLFRIEND: "Oh, you get freaky on a Friday night, you say? Well, have I got a proposition for you, Mr. Rhythmgame Protagonist. I hope you don't mind if Mom joins in by the way..." Note from 2025 self: this one's kinda weirdly horny, in retrospect maybe I shouldn't have sent this one to literally all of my friends and acquaintances as a snapstreak, but it's been in my camera roll for well over 3 years now so leaving it out would feel like not putting up the full collection like I mean to. At least both characters are canonically old enough to be consenting adults or this would be a baaaad look for me.

From the Archives: originally posted 3-27-2021

#ebullientsoup #cursedmemes #fridaynightfunkin #fnffanart #fnfmeme #hornyonmain

PICTURED: A guy with a mass of glowing orange and green mushrooms growing out of his face, stretching into the air as they search for new victims to spread their spores into, lecturing a disturbed bystander about how great his situation is. The bystander is already doomed. GUY: "You know, at first I didn't like that sentient radioactive mushrooms had colonized my face, but they're almost like a neat little beard now. Sure, they've gained increasing control over my brain to the point where I'm only aware of my surroundings for a few hours each day, but they have more collective intelligence than I do, so what do I have against it? Really, they've grown on me."

From the Archives: originally drawn 2-23-2021

#ebullientsoup #fungi #fungusamongus #TLoUMoment #cordyceps #cursedmemes #bodyhorror

PICTURED: A man's heart stares wistfully into a mirror, deep in personal reflection and completely neglecting its job. The man, who has been clinically dead for 16 minutes because of that, is sprawled on the floor (arm and ground obscured by text) while an EMT (out of scene) tries using a defibrillator to no effect. In a rare win for divorced dads, he successfully gets out of ever having to pay alimony or child support ever again.

From the Archives: originally drawn 2-14-2021

#ebullientsoup #valentinesday #divorcedguymoment #cursedmemes #cprepicfails #nomorechildsupport #cardiacarrestmoment #beatingthesystem #divorcememes #contemplation

Oh no! Our pal Punxsutawney Phil has been accosted again by his dastardly shadow! Whatever will he do now? Should he take his pills, or continue with the urgent work of using his wife's skeleton to contact Satan to make a dark tontine that will give him ultimate power?

From the Archives: originally drawn 2-2-2021

#ebullientsoup #groundhogday #spooky

Mr and Mrs Mouse are persecuted by their local HOA for living in a house made of cheese, so Mrs. Mouse uses her genetic engineering expertise to sic termites on every other house in Suburbsville. Unfortunately, since they live in Wisconsin, the townspeople decide to eat her house as revenge.

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-31-2021

#ebullientsoup #mousehouse #geneticengineering #cheese

A chicken coup

From the Archives: originally drawn 1-6-2021

#ebullientsoup #chickencoup #jan6

20 years after the events of How The Grinch Stole Christmas (the 2000 live-action version), Cindy Lou Who's severe daddy issues drove her into the arms of a now-reformed albeit still very creepy Grinch. Afraid of dying alone, they get married and buy a house in Whoville together. However, Cindy's old flame from college, a kraken whose true name drives all who hear it insane but who is commonly referred to as "Kuul'Ryze the Dread", bursts back into her life by smashing a tentacle through her window, unaware of her life trajectory since they graduated and he moved back in with his parents in R'lyeh. He mostly just wants to show off the tattoo he got, a tacky hand-poke rose tattoo that reads "Cindy x Kuul Forever" in a desperate play to get her back or at least tap that while her husband's sleeping upstairs. However, Cindy will have none of it and is faithful to her new husband, at least until he starts sleeping with other women.

From the Archives: originally drawn 12-21-2020

#ebullientsoup #eldritchhorror #cursedchristmas #cursedmemes #grinch

Evil Labs Inc presents an all-new virus! Straight out of its infamous Bat Soup Lab, these ultra-talented mad scientists have added gun proteins and thunder thighs to their new invention... wait they just named it Covid-20? Oh come on that basically defeats the whole purpose of making this one so badass!! Ugh, at this rate we'll have to start... actually benefiting society soon *shudder*

From the Archives: originally drawn 12-14-2020

#ebullientsoup #namefail #villains #madscientists #flopera

PICTURED: Nancy, who owned a pony named Ponette as a child, has managed to develop an AI of Ponette as the mascot for her glue company, Honse Gloo Inc, which makes glue in 420.69-gallon bottles. The AI became self-aware (horse consciousness is easier to replicate than a person's) and is now big mad at Nancy.

From the Archives: originally drawn 12-10-2020

#ebullientsoup #honsegloo #pony