🎠 The person who invented the ferris wheel never met the person who invented the merry go round…
They traveled in different circles.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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#MomJokes
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🐠 Why don't fish write great pop songs?
They hate catchy hooks
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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📺 I heard on the news that some guy was stealing wheels off police cars…
The police are working tirelessly to catch him.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🌟 Lost my life's research on how to cure excessive itching…
Looks like I'll have to start from scratch
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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😂 I stayed at a horrible motel called The Fiddle…
in reality it was a Vile Inn
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🤒 I'm so sick of the letter N…
Always being the center of attention.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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⌨️ I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a big barcode…
. I said "are you two an item?"
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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Waking up to people sharing my post about my challenges with SNAP right now (not my pinned ask for help) and getting some more help financially is really a blessing. I am going in for my broken tooth extraction (thanks Medicaid!) at 2:30pm today. Realized it's at tooth-hurty and chuckled. #momjokes
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🍼 I'm in search for someone to assist with milking cows on my dairy farm…
Must work well with udders.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🎩 People really shouldn't have kids after 20…
That’s just way too many!
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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⛏️ The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking, but the invention of the broom was the one that truly swept the nation…
That said, it was the invention of the wheel that really got things rolling.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🎵 I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside and gave her one last chance…
Unfortunately, she blew it.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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⛏️ I quit my job to pursue a career in archaeology…
Now my life is in ruins.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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💍 Two slices of bread got married. The wedding was amazing…
Until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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⚡ I told my boss that 3 different companies are after me, so I need a raise if he wants me to stay. He asked which companies…
I told him, the gas company, the electric company and the water company.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🎩 I told my wife that I thought our kids were spoiled…
She said they all smell like that
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🌳 A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there…
Thanks for keeping me off the streets.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🚗 I asked my friend why he gave up his career as a Farmer…
He said he chose the wrong field.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🏷️ The furniture salesman told me, "This sofa will seat 5 people without any problems!”…
I said, "Where am I going to find 5 people without any problems?"
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🐭 Three moles are in a tunnel. The first says, "I smell sugar." The second says, "I smell honey"…
The third says, "I smell molasses."
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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🎩 What did the note on the bulletin board say?
HELP! I'm under A TACK!
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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📝 My friend can't decide whether she wants to be a hairdresser or a short story writer.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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💸 I liked the Harry Potter series…
But I feel like Nearly Headless Nick was poorly executed.
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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"You didn't eat your vegetables at dinner, did you?"
There's something about Nia that makes her like a teeny tiny mother of the room, and she KNOWS!
#Funny #MomJokes #AdoptMe #FridayFunny
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🌟 How do you measure how heavy a red hot chili pepper is?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now!
#humor #puns #jokes #momjokes #humour #dadjokes #groan
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