#TheJestPress hashtag - Bluesky

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7 months ago

Cheap Stuff Takes a Hit as US Finally Charges for Global Bargain Roulette #Satire #TariffTantrum #OnlineShopping #AmericaFirstPrices #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: **End of an Era: Billions of Packages of ‘Cheap’ Goods Shipped to the US Now Inspire Existential Dread Over Steep Tariffs** America’s national pastime isn’t baseball, it’s hitting “Buy Now” at 2 a.m. on yet another LED cat lamp. Sadly, millions of Americans awoke this week to discover the era of endless, guilt-free parcel splurging has ended—not with a bang, but with a hefty customs invoice stapled to their hopes and dreams.

Cheap Stuff Takes a Hit as US Finally Charges for Global Bargain Roulette

#Satire #TariffTantrum #OnlineShopping #AmericaFirstPrices #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com and Sponsored by: **End of an Era: Billions of Packages of ‘Cheap’ Goods Shipped to the US Now Inspire Existential Dread Over…

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7 months ago

State Department’s New Hobby: Collecting 6,000 Vacant Student Visas #Satire #StudentVisas #USStateDepartment #InternationalStudents #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **US State Department Revokes 6,000 Student Visas, Claims Students “Weren’t Sure What A W-2 Was Anyway”** WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a stunning move that experts are calling “probably not on the syllabus,” the US State Department announced Wednesday that it has revoked 6,000 student visas. Officials maintain this bold action is designed to “protect America’s ancient tradition of completely misunderstanding the metric system.”

State Department’s New Hobby: Collecting 6,000 Vacant Student Visas

#Satire #StudentVisas #USStateDepartment #InternationalStudents #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **US State Department Revokes 6,000 Student Visas, Claims Students “Weren’t Sure What A W-2 Was Anyway”** WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a…

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8 months ago

Israeli Security Cabinet Unveils New Hobby: Urban Gazan Real Estate Expansion #Satire #InternationalNews #MiddleEast #GazaCity #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Israeli Security Cabinet Approves Plan to Occupy Gaza City; Already Looking for Airbnb Listings** TEL AVIV – In an audacious move that has historians, peace negotiators, and confused travel bloggers furrowing their brows, Israel’s Security Cabinet announced this Thursday that it has officially approved a plan to occupy Gaza City. The last-minute addition to the plan: find parking and at least three functioning shawarma stands.

Israeli Security Cabinet Unveils New Hobby: Urban Gazan Real Estate Expansion

#Satire #InternationalNews #MiddleEast #GazaCity #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Israeli Security Cabinet Approves Plan to Occupy Gaza City; Already Looking for Airbnb Listings** TEL AVIV – In an audacious move that…

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8 months ago

Dean Cain Trades Cape for Badge in Honorary ICE Officer Role #SupermanICE #DeanCain #ICEmanCometh #HonoraryAgent #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In news that’s likely to make Lex Luthor sweat and undocumented aliens double-check their disguises, former TV Superman Dean Cain is set to be sworn in as an honorary ICE officer this week. The actor, once beloved for soaring through Metropolis on prime-time television, will now trade in his cape for a clipboard and badge — making him the first superhero to moonlight as a border official.

Dean Cain Trades Cape for Badge in Honorary ICE Officer Role

#SupermanICE #DeanCain #ICEmanCometh #HonoraryAgent #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In news that’s likely to make Lex Luthor sweat and undocumented aliens double-check their disguises, former TV Superman Dean Cain is set to be sworn…

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8 months ago

Ghislaine Maxwell Denied Service Dog Lessons, Canine Camp Too Elite #GhislaineMaxwell #PrisonProblems #DogGoneIt #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com Scandal hit the pooch world at Alderson ‘Camp Cupcake’ Correctional Facility this Tuesday, after infamous socialite Ghislaine Maxwell was “uninvited” from the prison’s much-coveted Service Dog Training Program. Sources say it’s the first time in U.S. penal history that someone was deemed a “bad influence” on the actual dogs. Correctional Officer Pam Barker explained, “We strive to create upstanding canine citizens here, and that cannot include stiff collars or friends in high places—or islands, for that matter.”

Ghislaine Maxwell Denied Service Dog Lessons, Canine Camp Too Elite

#GhislaineMaxwell #PrisonProblems #DogGoneIt #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com Scandal hit the pooch world at Alderson ‘Camp Cupcake’ Correctional Facility this Tuesday, after infamous socialite Ghislaine Maxwell was…

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8 months ago

RFK Jr. Single-Handedly Drains $500M Vaccine Fund, Claims Plot Thickens #RFKJr #VaccineDrama #FundingFrenzy #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **RFK Jr. Pulls $500 Million in Funding for Vaccine Development, Sends Researchers a "Get Well Soon" Card Instead** In an unexpected twist that left the medical community both underfunded and scratching their bandaged heads, independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has reportedly withdrawn $500 million in vaccine development funding. In lieu of the half-billion dollars, health researchers report they received a heartfelt Hallmark card featuring a cartoon chicken in bed with a thermometer, and the words: "Get Well Soon!"

RFK Jr. Single-Handedly Drains $500M Vaccine Fund, Claims Plot Thickens

#RFKJr #VaccineDrama #FundingFrenzy #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **RFK Jr. Pulls $500 Million in Funding for Vaccine Development, Sends Researchers a "Get Well Soon" Card Instead** In an unexpected twist that…

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8 months ago

Human Skeleton Spotted, Claims to Be Gaza Hostage Brother on BBC #Satire #SkeletonBrother #BreakingBones #HostageNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **He is a Human Skeleton, Brother of Gaza Hostage Reveals in Emotional Interview** In a shocking and thoroughly calcium-rich interview with the BBC, Avi David, brother of Gaza hostage Evyatar David, delivered a revelation that rocked the international community ― and the medical community’s understanding of basic human anatomy. “He is a human skeleton,” Avi declared somberly.

Human Skeleton Spotted, Claims to Be Gaza Hostage Brother on BBC

#Satire #SkeletonBrother #BreakingBones #HostageNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **He is a Human Skeleton, Brother of Gaza Hostage Reveals in Emotional Interview** In a shocking and thoroughly calcium-rich interview with the…

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8 months ago

Trump Plans Tariff Tsunami on India for Playing Oil Market Like Chess #TrumpTariffsAgain #IndiaOilDrama #RussiaFuelFiasco #WorldTradeWoes #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a move designed to keep both economic experts and late-night comedians gainfully employed, former President Donald Trump declared that he will “substantially” raise tariffs on India—unless, of course, they stop shopping in Vladimir Putin’s Bargain Basement Oil Bonanza. Speaking from a golf cart somewhere between the 11th hole and a nearby snack shack, Trump told an enthusiastic audience of squirrels and Secret Service agents, “India keeps buying oil from Russia at great prices.

Trump Plans Tariff Tsunami on India for Playing Oil Market Like Chess

#TrumpTariffsAgain #IndiaOilDrama #RussiaFuelFiasco #WorldTradeWoes #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a move designed to keep both economic experts and late-night comedians gainfully employed, former President Donald Trump…

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8 months ago

Brain Scans Reveal Who Can Actually Handle Anxiety Apps Without Melting Down #BrainImaging #AnxietyApps #SelfCareRevolution #MindReaders #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Clinicians Use Brain Imaging to Predict Which Anxious People Will Blame Their App for Not Working** In a dazzling breakthrough sure to delight both neuroscientists and people who love posting about their mental health on Instagram, clinicians have harnessed brain imaging to predict exactly who will actually benefit from that self-guided anxiety care app you downloaded six months ago but never opened.

Brain Scans Reveal Who Can Actually Handle Anxiety Apps Without Melting Down

#BrainImaging #AnxietyApps #SelfCareRevolution #MindReaders #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Clinicians Use Brain Imaging to Predict Which Anxious People Will Blame Their App for Not Working** In a dazzling…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

Trump’s New Tariff Targets Thailand and Cambodia, Peace Deals Not Included #TrumpTariff #InternationalRelations #PeaceDealProblems #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a move that no one—except maybe him—saw coming, former President Donald Trump announced a 19% tariff on all goods from Thailand and Cambodia, just hours after the two Southeast Asian nations signed a historic peace treaty ending centuries of mild awkwardness and competitive street food festivals. “Look, I hear they made peace—beautiful peace, some of the best peace you’ve ever seen.

Trump’s New Tariff Targets Thailand and Cambodia, Peace Deals Not Included

#TrumpTariff #InternationalRelations #PeaceDealProblems #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a move that no one—except maybe him—saw coming, former President Donald Trump announced a 19% tariff on all goods…

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8 months ago

Ukraine’s Air Force Major Caught Selling Secrets, Still Claims It’s Just Friendly Chit-Chat #UkraineSpyScandal #AirForceFollies #EspionageFails #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In perhaps the most unintentionally ironic moment of the week, Ukraine has announced the arrest of an Air Force major caught allegedly moonlighting as a Russian spy—a career move apparently inspired by classic board game “Risk” and all seven seasons of “Game of Thrones.” The suspect, whose name Ukrainian authorities will only reveal if you can crack a code written in Cyrillic and potato emojis, was reportedly caught sending classified flight paths directly to the Kremlin using the world’s most suspicious Gmail account, “TotallyNotASpy98@gmail.com.”

Ukraine’s Air Force Major Caught Selling Secrets, Still Claims It’s Just Friendly Chit-Chat

#UkraineSpyScandal #AirForceFollies #EspionageFails #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In perhaps the most unintentionally ironic moment of the week, Ukraine has announced the arrest of an Air…

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8 months ago

IMF Predicts India Will Outgrow All Other Economies, Even Expectations #IndiaOnTheRise #IMFMagic #GrowthButStillNoParking #EconomyLOL #TheJestPress **IMF Raises India’s FY26 Growth Forecast to 6.4%, Indian Family WhatsApp Groups Celebrate** By: TheJestPress.com In a move that sent shockwaves through the international community and prompted a fresh flurry of “Good Morning” forwards, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) has raised India’s FY26 growth forecast to a dizzying 6.4%. Experts say this puts India on track to grow marginally faster than last year, which, in classic Indian style, will be hailed as “historic”, “game-changing”, and “proof that Uncle Sharma was right all along”.

IMF Predicts India Will Outgrow All Other Economies, Even Expectations

#IndiaOnTheRise #IMFMagic #GrowthButStillNoParking #EconomyLOL #TheJestPress **IMF Raises India’s FY26 Growth Forecast to 6.4%, Indian Family WhatsApp Groups Celebrate** By: TheJestPress.com In a move that sent shockwaves…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

Gunman’s Elevator Error Leads To NYC Tragedy, NFL Offices Escape Unscathed #NFLMixUp #ElevatorFail #SatireNews #NYCStories #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In what can only be described as the most poorly executed “mission” since the Jets’ last playoff appearance, Mayor Eric Adams announced today that the gunman responsible for the tragic shooting at a Manhattan building was actually targeting NFL offices—but fate, and a spectacular lack of elevator etiquette, intervened. Sources say the would-be assailant, who had spent weeks plotting an elaborate scheme against Roger Goodell’s lair (also known as Conference Room B), was thwarted not by security, but by an elevator panel.

Gunman’s Elevator Error Leads To NYC Tragedy, NFL Offices Escape Unscathed

#NFLMixUp #ElevatorFail #SatireNews #NYCStories #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In what can only be described as the most poorly executed “mission” since the Jets’ last playoff appearance, Mayor Eric Adams announced…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

Russian Markets Dive Billion Dollars After Trump’s Surprise Ukraine Peace Speedrun #TrumpDiplomacy #RussianMarkets #PeaceDealPanic #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking move that has both economists and political analysts scrambling for their calculators, Russian stock markets nosedived by $1.4 billion Wednesday after former US President Donald Trump unexpectedly declared he was moving up his own, completely unofficial Ukraine peace deal deadline. Vladimir Putin was reportedly mid-table-tennis match when his advisor burst in, breathlessly exclaiming, “Comrade, Trump has tweeted a new deadline!” Putin promptly lost the match and, more devastatingly, $432 million in personal oil shares.

Russian Markets Dive Billion Dollars After Trump’s Surprise Ukraine Peace Speedrun

#TrumpDiplomacy #RussianMarkets #PeaceDealPanic #SatireNews #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a shocking move that has both economists and political analysts scrambling for their calculators, Russian stock…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

Train Crash in Germany: Media Source Confirms Trains Also Have Bad Days #Satire #BreakingNews #GermanTrains #UnexpectedTwist #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **"Several Killed in German Train Crash; Locals Shocked to Learn German Trains Can Derail"** In a stunning revelation that has shattered both rails and national pride, several were reportedly killed in a train crash in Germany this weekend—a fact that has left Germans, and their legendary punctuality, reeling in disbelief. Media outlets, citing security sources who spoke only on the condition of anonymity (and who may or may not be trainspotters with binoculars), report that the crash was “completely unexpected,” given that the last time a German train was late, the conductor issued a handwritten apology to each passenger and spent a night in solitary.

Train Crash in Germany: Media Source Confirms Trains Also Have Bad Days

#Satire #BreakingNews #GermanTrains #UnexpectedTwist #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **"Several Killed in German Train Crash; Locals Shocked to Learn German Trains Can Derail"** In a stunning revelation that has shattered…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

RFK Jr. Declares War on Woke Cancer Panels, Scrubs Prevention Advice #RFKJr #WokeCancerPanel #SatireNews #HealthReform #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **RFK Jr. Vows to Oust Woke Advisory Panel, Demands Cancer Screenings Be Unbiased, Preferably by Psychic** In a groundbreaking move that promises to reshape America’s approach to preventive health, presidential hopeful Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has announced plans to oust the “woke” advisory panel currently overseeing the nation’s cancer screenings. “I want unbiased health advice,” Kennedy declared, “not a quiz on my pronouns between mammograms.”

RFK Jr. Declares War on Woke Cancer Panels, Scrubs Prevention Advice

#RFKJr #WokeCancerPanel #SatireNews #HealthReform #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **RFK Jr. Vows to Oust Woke Advisory Panel, Demands Cancer Screenings Be Unbiased, Preferably by Psychic** In a groundbreaking move that…

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TheJestPress

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8 months ago

Cotswolds Panic as JD Vance Invades Summer Hideaway Like Tourist Tornado #satire #JDVance #Cotswolds #SummerChaos #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com The picturesque Cotswolds, famous for hay bales, honey-stone villages, and Americans who say “quaint” ten times a minute, is bracing for its biggest challenge yet: an alleged summer holiday visit from US Senator JD Vance. Local residents expressed a blend of terror and confusion upon hearing rumors that Vance, best known for being a “Hillbilly Elegy” author and Donald Trump’s designated hype man, plans to conduct an extensive, selfie-laden “fact-finding tour” of England’s most Instagrammable sheep pastures.

Cotswolds Panic as JD Vance Invades Summer Hideaway Like Tourist Tornado

#satire #JDVance #Cotswolds #SummerChaos #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com The picturesque Cotswolds, famous for hay bales, honey-stone villages, and Americans who say “quaint” ten times a minute, is bracing for its biggest…

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8 months ago

Allianz Life Hack Leaves Customers Wondering If Their Data Took a Vacation #CyberDrama #InsuranceFail #OopsTheyDidItAgain #DataGoneWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a bold move to defend their reputation for "being there when you need us," Allianz Life has confirmed that yes, the majority of their customers’ data was dramatically stolen in a hack—but look on the bright side: at least nothing boring like paper files were taken. In a press release typed while vigilantly refreshing their credit monitoring apps, Allianz Life’s spokesperson assured customers not to panic about the “minor inconvenience” of having their names, addresses, dates of birth, phone numbers, life goals, and currently under-appreciated insurance policies now circulating on the dark web.

Allianz Life Hack Leaves Customers Wondering If Their Data Took a Vacation

#CyberDrama #InsuranceFail #OopsTheyDidItAgain #DataGoneWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com MINNEAPOLIS, MN – In a bold move to defend their reputation for "being there when you need us," Allianz Life has confirmed that…

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8 months ago

Chuck E. Cheese Mouse Mask Heist Nets Arrest in Cheese-Fueled Crime Spree #CrimeCheese #MaskedMouse #PizzaPinched #NotSoWholesomeFun #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Chuck E. Cheese Employee Arrested in Iconic Mouse Mask for Using Stolen Credit Card, Police Say** In a pizza-stuffed plot twist straight out of Saturday morning cartoons, a Chuck E. Cheese employee was apprehended earlier this week for allegedly using a stolen credit card—while still wearing the company’s iconic mouse mascot mask.

Chuck E. Cheese Mouse Mask Heist Nets Arrest in Cheese-Fueled Crime Spree

#CrimeCheese #MaskedMouse #PizzaPinched #NotSoWholesomeFun #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Chuck E. Cheese Employee Arrested in Iconic Mouse Mask for Using Stolen Credit Card, Police Say** In a pizza-stuffed plot twist…

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8 months ago

Trump Urges Israel to “Wrap It Up” in Middle East Cleanup #Satire #TrumpAdvice #InternationalPolitics #MideastHotTakes #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com Mar-a-Lago, FL — In a breaking international development that no one asked for, former President Donald J. Trump emerged from his world-renowned pancake buffet this morning to offer what he called “the best advice, probably ever, in the history of advice” to Israel on its ongoing conflict: “Finish the job” against Hamas.

Trump Urges Israel to “Wrap It Up” in Middle East Cleanup

#Satire #TrumpAdvice #InternationalPolitics #MideastHotTakes #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com Mar-a-Lago, FL — In a breaking international development that no one asked for, former President Donald J. Trump emerged from his world-renowned…

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8 months ago

Beer Tax Ban: Australian PM Cheers to Wallets and Warm Pints # Satire #BeerRelief #AustraliaNews #TaxBreak #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a bold move that’s left economists scratching their heads and pub owners popping corks, Australia’s Prime Minister has announced a radical new approach to help with the nation’s mounting cost-of-living crisis: eliminating the beer tax, effective immediately. Speaking at a press conference held suspiciously close to happy hour, the PM declared, “When Aussie families are struggling to make ends meet, I say it’s time to give them what really matters—cheaper pints!” He then produced a frothy schooner from behind the podium, earning a standing ovation and several marriage proposals from the press gallery.

Beer Tax Ban: Australian PM Cheers to Wallets and Warm Pints

# Satire #BeerRelief #AustraliaNews #TaxBreak #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a bold move that’s left economists scratching their heads and pub owners popping corks, Australia’s Prime Minister has announced a radical new approach…

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8 months ago

Government Finally Finds Extra Money for Blood Victims, Shocker Ensues #InfectedBlood #CompensationCelebration #SatireNews #HealthScandal #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a stunning display of belated generosity, UK officials announced this week that "significantly more" infected blood victims will finally receive compensation, after only a few decades and the occasional strongly worded newspaper headline. Government spokespeople, gathering in a room still faintly scented with denial, bravely declared, "We’re proud to offer slightly less insufficient recompense to even more people whose medical misfortunes we definitely didn’t contribute to.” When pressed for numbers, officials assured citizens that compensation checks would be written using not just one but TWO zeroes, possibly even three for the really unlucky recipients.

Government Finally Finds Extra Money for Blood Victims, Shocker Ensues

#InfectedBlood #CompensationCelebration #SatireNews #HealthScandal #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a stunning display of belated generosity, UK officials announced this week that "significantly more" infected blood…

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8 months ago

Fake Ambassador Runs Embassy, Diplomacy Has Never Been So Casual #FakeDiplomat #EmbassyEnvy #InternationalLOL #FraudulentForeignAffairs #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In what can only be described as a Craigslist version of international relations, Indian police have arrested a man for allegedly running his own embassy, complete with faux credentials, makeshift visas, and—presumably—a very convincing accent. The self-appointed “Ambassador of Nowherestan” operated a full-service diplomatic mission out of a rented flat, offering passports to countries that exist only in the minds of cartoonists and conspiracy theorists.

Fake Ambassador Runs Embassy, Diplomacy Has Never Been So Casual

#FakeDiplomat #EmbassyEnvy #InternationalLOL #FraudulentForeignAffairs #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In what can only be described as a Craigslist version of international relations, Indian police have arrested a man for…

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8 months ago

Congress Perfects Vanishing Act as Deadlines Pass Like Ghosts #CongressionalCountdown #ChecksAndImbalance #PowerOutage #DeadlineBlues #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com WASHINGTON, DC—As the nation sits breathlessly on the edge of a looming government shutdown in exactly 41 days, Congress has again displayed its mastery at delegating, procrastinating, and generally letting democracy run on autopilot. Lawmakers across party lines celebrated this impressive streak of inaction with a bipartisan “We’ll Get to It Eventually” brunch—featuring waffles with extra syrup for those who’ve contributed nothing.

Congress Perfects Vanishing Act as Deadlines Pass Like Ghosts

#CongressionalCountdown #ChecksAndImbalance #PowerOutage #DeadlineBlues #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com WASHINGTON, DC—As the nation sits breathlessly on the edge of a looming government shutdown in exactly 41 days, Congress has…

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8 months ago

EPA Plans Bold Move to Stop Fighting Climate Change, Experts Shocked #Satire #EPANews #ClimateChange #EcoLogic #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **E.P.A. Is Said to Draft a Plan to End Its Ability to Fight Climate Change** In a bold move that scientists are calling “utterly counter-intuitive” and accountants are calling “cost-effective,” the Environmental Protection Agency (E.P.A.) is rumored to be drafting a revolutionary new plan: completely ending its own ability to fight climate change.

EPA Plans Bold Move to Stop Fighting Climate Change, Experts Shocked

#Satire #EPANews #ClimateChange #EcoLogic #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **E.P.A. Is Said to Draft a Plan to End Its Ability to Fight Climate Change** In a bold move that scientists are calling “utterly counter-intuitive” and…

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8 months ago

Druze Mourn, Then Give Israel Unexpected High Five for Saving the Day #Satire #MiddleEastNews #GolanDruze #InternationalRelations #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a turn of events guaranteed to give Uncle Moishe a headache and Abu Samir heartburn, the Druze community on Israel’s Golan Heights is apparently now singing “Hatikvah” in the mornings and awkwardly texting Israel “u up?” after witnessing events across the border in Syria. Locals report that the juxtaposition of living in a peaceful country versus a literal warzone next door has really put things into perspective, and suddenly Israeli bureaucracy doesn’t seem so bad compared to, say, not having running water.

Druze Mourn, Then Give Israel Unexpected High Five for Saving the Day

#Satire #MiddleEastNews #GolanDruze #InternationalRelations #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com In a turn of events guaranteed to give Uncle Moishe a headache and Abu Samir heartburn, the Druze community on Israel’s Golan Heights…

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8 months ago

Putin and Larijani Have Nuke Chat, World Holds Breath and Popcorn #PutinPowerPlays #NuclearNegotiations #SupremeAlliances #GeopoliticsGoneWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Putin Meets Khamenei's Top Adviser Larijani for Nuclear Talks, Brings Personally Autographed 'How to Make Friends and Influence Enrichments' Handbook** In an event described by Kremlin spokespersons as “the ultimate buddy cop movie crossover,” Russian President Vladimir Putin met Tuesday with Ali Larijani, Supreme Leader Khamenei’s top adviser, for what sources say were “casual nuclear chit-chats” over samovars of uranium-free tea.

Putin and Larijani Have Nuke Chat, World Holds Breath and Popcorn

#PutinPowerPlays #NuclearNegotiations #SupremeAlliances #GeopoliticsGoneWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **Putin Meets Khamenei's Top Adviser Larijani for Nuclear Talks, Brings Personally Autographed 'How to Make Friends and…

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8 months ago

Kelantan HIV Outreach Mistaken for Gay Party, Police Still Confused #Satire #HIVOutreachNotDisco #PoliceOops #KelantanConfusion #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com KOTA BARU—Civil society groups in Kelantan are setting the stage for the season’s hottest clarification after local police mistook a men’s HIV medical outreach event for an underground “gay sex party” this weekend. “We showed up with syringes and brochures, not disco lights and thongs,” clarified outreach representative Dr. Amir Bin NotMyNight.

Kelantan HIV Outreach Mistaken for Gay Party, Police Still Confused

#Satire #HIVOutreachNotDisco #PoliceOops #KelantanConfusion #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com KOTA BARU—Civil society groups in Kelantan are setting the stage for the season’s hottest clarification after local police mistook a…

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8 months ago

Kelantan HIV Outreach Mistaken for Gay Party, Police Still Confused #Satire #HIVOutreachNotDisco #PoliceOops #KelantanConfusion #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com KOTA BARU—Civil society groups in Kelantan are setting the stage for the season’s hottest clarification after local police mistook a men’s HIV medical outreach event for an underground “gay sex party” this weekend. “We showed up with syringes and brochures, not disco lights and thongs,” clarified outreach representative Dr. Amir Bin NotMyNight.

Kelantan HIV Outreach Mistaken for Gay Party, Police Still Confused

#Satire #HIVOutreachNotDisco #PoliceOops #KelantanConfusion #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com KOTA BARU—Civil society groups in Kelantan are setting the stage for the season’s hottest clarification after local police mistook a…

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8 months ago

Lost Mom and Son Outsmart GPS Using Ancient Handwritten Notes in Forest Rescue #satire #forestSOS #LostAndFound #CaliforniaWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **California Mom and Son Use Handwritten Notes to Outsmart Modern Rescue Tech, Inspire Generation of “Note-Tokers”** TRINITY COUNTY, CA — In a plot twist that even Google Maps didn’t see coming, a California mom and her 13-year-old son were dramatically rescued from a remote forest after what officials are calling “the successful deployment of ancient note-scribing technology.”

Lost Mom and Son Outsmart GPS Using Ancient Handwritten Notes in Forest Rescue

#satire #forestSOS #LostAndFound #CaliforniaWild #TheJestPress By: TheJestPress.com **California Mom and Son Use Handwritten Notes to Outsmart Modern Rescue Tech, Inspire Generation of “Note-Tokers”** TRINITY COUNTY, CA…

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