Newcastle council are rumoured to be launching their own online assistant powered by artificial intelligence.
"Why AI" comes online on May 1st.
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You may think collecting beermats with pictures of luxury cars on them is boring, but it’s actually a roller-coaster of a hobby. #LunchPun
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There's no I in ophthalmology
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My local Spanish arena was quickly demolished while the bull dozed.
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Turns out food waste is what you call a beer belly if you don't drink.
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Pressing local election issues:
where do you stand on chewing gum
on the pavements?
#joke #funny #jokes #humour #LunchPun
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🎶 When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that's a moray 🎶
#lunchpun
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My hen lottery met with a bit of resistance. Not surprising really as I had expected to raffle a few feathers. #LunchPun #Pun
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Kings sit on thrones, as a rule
#LunchPun
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I met my exact double but he had red hair.
My döppelginger.
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-"I'm a bit apprehensive about going on holiday to meet that new girl i was telling you about."
-"Week at Denise?"
-"More butterflies in my tummy."
#LunchPun
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When my grandad was a policeman he'd turn a blind eye if he saw kids stealing bits of fruit, like tangerines.
Easy peelers?
No, I think they called 'em Bobbies on the beat by then.
#LunchPun #Jokes
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I'm at Land's End, trying out the locals' famous anise flavoured spirit, and to be honest, I don't know what all the fuss is about Cornish Pastis.
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There’s an unpredictable clergyman in Sussex who can’t be trusted to follow instructions. The bishop has described him as a Lewes canon.
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I had to do a major speech at a work conference and my wife suggested that it would help if, before I began, I imagined the audience naked. They insisted that I put my clothes back on immediately before speaking.
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#LunchPun #mondaymirth Scientists invented an AI automaton that can keep between 4 or 5 balls in the air at the same time in perpetual motion. It’s tricky for the organisers as everyone across the country wants to see it, so it’s a constant juggling act.
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A work colleague is known for not telling the truth but he just speaks so eloquently that people fall for it every time
He is a patter logical liar
#Lunchpun #RateMyPun
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The Frog Chorus for example. #Inversneckycafe #Aberdeen #AberdeenBeach #Inversnecky #Frogs #LunchPun #MondayMirth
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Mandelson being a terrible security
risk is not so surprising when all checks
are left to vets!
#joke #funny #jokes #humour #LunchPun
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#WhileRidingMyBicycle I was struggling up the hill and for some reason another cyclist flew past me and ridiculed my clothing.
How dare he say I wasn't in the right gear.
#Lunchpun
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Printed off pizza base recipe, glass jug with fill quantities on the side in ounces and millilitres, glass bowl with pizza dough in it and clingfilm over the top, bag of 00 pasta flour. If you enjoy my food posts then please consider at least liking them and maybe reposting them. Thanks.
Bacon sarnie with brown sauce on wholemeal bread. If you enjoy my food posts then please consider at least liking them and maybe reposting them. Thanks.
Finally had a go at making pizza bases today 🍕
Supermarket ones are cheap enough, so I didn't really knead to
#LunchPun #food #foodsky
As it's buy one, get one free today, you also get my #brunch bacon sarnie with brown sauce on wholemeal bread, which my lovely wife made me earlier 👫
#BOGOF!
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#LunchPun #sidesplittingsunday I work for a company that makes “happy” sanitising finger and palm products. We’ve just released our new one and people are rubbing their hands with Glee.
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Bonnie Blue's latest ruse: her wedding.
The reception spread will be great, and
the catering won't be too bad either!
#joke #funny #jokes #humour #LunchPun
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Somebody told me that evaporated milk mixed with urine can bring people back from the dead. But I don't believe in wee-in-Carnation.
#lunchpun
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#LunchPun #sillysaturday Last night, I was unsure if I should have a Thai meal fried in oil or a heavily spiced Indian dish. I didn’t know if I was Cumin or Goreng.
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I’ve got 2 flies in my kitchen, 1 is a Native American fly, the other is a cowboy fly. You can tell which is which, the cowboy is at home on the range. #LunchPun
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One week into my new graphic design job - working on football stickers at Panini HQ - and I'm still putting names to faces.
#LunchPun #Jokes
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#LunchPun
Thankfully Clint Eastwood was happy for tourists to visit his backyard bovine that he worships and for them to bring a stool and bucket, go ahead milk my deity.
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One's attempt to exorcise the ghost from one's castle has failed. It's back to scare one, I'm afraid.
#Lunchpun
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-Do you think it’s OK to jump out of a theatre box-office & scare people?
-It sounds tickety boo to me.
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